For the guys: Wanting what you can't have

[REDIRECT43]

Is it in you guys' opinion that the less a girl wants you, the more you want her? Have you been dumped by a girl and craved her more-so after the fact?

I've heard about wanting what you can't have but I haven't heard it from a guy's mouth. Is this true? Is there a girl in your past that broke up with you, and you never got over it? Thanks!

[tmp0620]

There's definitely been a girl in my past that I haven't gotten over, but I don't think it was because she didn't want me.

[REDIRECT43]

I don't mean to pry, but did she dump you?

[D.Breker]

theres a girl in my not so dstant past that we broke up and became friends and dident realize that i still wanted her till like 5 months later when she movved on and got anouther boyfriend(its been 5 months since my last relationship).ps she had anouther boyfriend for like 2 months before i started liking her again.

[tmp0620]

no she didn't dump me, we never went out, we had a crush on each other, but I don't think my situation even counts it was a LOOOONNNNGGG time ago.

[PRSOV]

I don't think so. I am too relaxed about that kind of thing... If I know a girl isn't interested in that way I don't usually chase it much after, what's the point? You are 90% likely to only get yourself hurt more in the long run.

 

I have only ever been interested in one girl who said she didn't like me, but turns out she was covering up because she did really like me!.. But I wanted her SO MUCH before that so I think that is what really what made me chase her in the aftermark.

[thegirl_00]

I know of 3 guys that i've broken up with who we're completely devistated but when i was with them they treated me like sh*t. I even ended up going back out with one of them but they treated me bad again. Not only guys are like that though.

It's true for a lot of people.... "you tend to want what you can't have"

[Daddy Bear]

just like when someone dies, when you are left by a person that you still care about you tend to idealize them and make them out to be more than they really were. it sure happened to me, but thank God i'm finally over it now. it almost never lasts forever in the case of being dumped, i think...

[REDIRECT43]

I only ask becuase I just broke up with my boyfriend. I felt I deserved more, and I knew in the long run I would get hurt. This is horrible because I'm supposed to care for him, but I want him to hurt and pine over me. Sick, isn't it? I want him to realize that he should have treated me better, and his actions and lack thereof pushed me away. I feel so strong and empowered having left him. Hopefully one day he will look back and be like, damn, I should have treated her better and I'll do anything to get her back. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Alot of guys are telling me that guys don't normally care, they move on quickly. But I do hope that he looks back years from now and realizes what he had.

[Momene]

I only ask becuase I just broke up with my boyfriend. I felt I deserved more, and I knew in the long run I would get hurt. This is horrible because I'm supposed to care for him, but I want him to hurt and pine over me. Sick, isn't it? I want him to realize that he should have treated me better, and his actions and lack thereof pushed me away. I feel so strong and empowered having left him. Hopefully one day he will look back and be like, damn, I should have treated her better and I'll do anything to get her back. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Alot of guys are telling me that guys don't normally care, they move on quickly. But I do hope that he looks back years from now and realizes what he had.

 

Honestly when I've been dumped, I never really reflected on why I was dumped but what a so-and-so the girl was for dumping me. It's only been years later, after other relationships, that I've seen aspects of my behaviour that may have caused the split.

 

Whilst I'll admit that my behaviour wasn't always 100% at times, I think all of my past relationships would have ended anyway.

 

I certainly never considered trying to get back with anyone who dumped me.

[Daddy Bear]

I certainly never considered trying to get back with anyone who dumped me.

if you've never screwed up a relationship and lived to tearfully regret it and want to make things right again, either you're in for a rude awakening or you're a far better man than i am.

[Momene]

if you've never screwed up a relationship and lived to tearfully regret it and want to make things right again, either you're in for a rude awakening or you're a far better man than i am.

 

The ones I screwed up were doomed anyway.

[REDIRECT43]

How did you guys deal with the breakup? Did you act like you didn't care? Did you call and plead for forgiveness? Did you even care? lol

[Momene]

How did you guys deal with the breakup? Did you act like you didn't care? Did you call and plead for forgiveness? Did you even care? lol

 

I cared OK but knew there was no way back. In fact I've never been dumped because of anything specific I've done like cheating, I've just been dumped beacuse the girl concerned had changed her feelings or never had any in the first place (in one case).