Dump him.. or just don't pick up?

[fishrrshortae]

Hey guys... needing help here

 

I started dating this guy a few weeks ago. To summarize, I thought he seemed nice and interesting. But we would make tentative plans to maybe hang out some nights. Instead, he would call me and tell me he's going out to his friend's house for a little bit then going to bed.. or things like that. He wouldn't even mention that we were possibly going to hang out if he got out of work early enough. This has happened 4 times.

 

We had DEFINITE plans to meet up sometime on Sunday and spend the day together. Saturday I was at my college's graduation all day and when he called, I couldn't answer. So I called him back late, around 11:45, knowing he was out. He never called back, Sunday went by with no phone call, and I'm feeling like it's pretty much done. I'm really irritated with him and dating in general.

 

So my question is, if he calls, should I even bother to pick up? Should I say something to him, or should I just let him talk to my voicemail and never call him back?

 

Thanks ahead of time

[RayKay]

Is this the chatterbox?

 

I would pick up, but tell him you really don't appreciate being such a low priority, that it was rude of him to stand you up, and you think it would be better to move on to find someone.

 

If you were actually into him my advice may be a little different (ie talk to him and clear things up and let him know you do not want "tentative plans" all the time, but firm ones and see where it goes as sometimes part of early dating can be "tentative and taking things slowly"), but it sounds like you are really not that into him anyway, and you are just dragging things out.

[fishrrshortae]

LOL yes RayKay it's the chatterbox!! Actually, I did talk to him about how he talks a lot and it got better, and things were looking up. He listened really well when I was talking to him about some problems a few of my friends were having....

 

I don't want to hang onto it just to have someone to date... I'm not really sure if he's worth fighting for though In other respects he is great, calls every day and showed a genuine interest in getting together so I don't know why he's being rude about plans

[RayKay]

You know...some people just don't like to make plans. It may be as they don't want to pressure you, but they also just like to have a freed up schedule.

 

My boyfriend told me actually that in his past, he hated "making plans" with people. Even a few days ahead he had to kinda keep himself free. This went for friends too. I was actually the first one he seemed to make plans with willingly ahead of time. But he is very loyal and trustworthy, it was just the way he was.

 

Only you can decide if it's worth working it out with him or not. If you let him know you can't do things last minute all the time, and make your OWN plans if he does not firm things up, he may learn pretty fast he has to make plans with you.

[fishrrshortae]

Hm... is this something that should be a dealbreaker? Red flags and whatnot?

 

Part of me wants to just talk to him about it.. the other part of me wants to talk to him and DUMP him too, cuz I'm irritated....

ugh.

[RayKay]

It may, or it may not be. It may be just his personality, which for you may be a dealbreaker.

 

I don't think it is automatic though for every individual.

 

As I said, my boyfriend is admittedly this kind of type "usually", but he is absolutely brilliant in making plans with me and absolutely committed, I never doubt his love or interest in me.

[fishrrshortae]

Yeah, I'm definitely thinking that for me, this is a dealbreaker.... Personally I just think it's rude and I'd hate to see how he acts later on if he's like this in the beginning!

[Pixiemeat]

If it's enough to turn you off from this early on, then I'd end it. I'd pick up his call, I wouldn't ignore him, but just tell it like it is - you don't appreciate being such a low priority and you expect him to stick to plans.

[fishrrshortae]

At this point, I'm wondering if he'll even call. Before, he was calling me every day, and now... nothing.

[beanpaper]

I think it's a total deal-breaker. Guys like this aren't worth it. This is the type of guy who's going to have his wife calling him someday wondering when he's coming home with the diapers and medicine and he's out with his friends not answering the phone, I'm telling you.

[NotSoSlick]

Even though hes being an * * *, I'd still pickup and tell him how you feel about him and dump him...