what this means??? if anything

[jeeper]

So im a senior in high school and have been dating this girl for about 4 months and previously dated her a while back. to make a long, complicated story short, im in love with her. she on the other hand doesnt quite feel the same way. i just know she likes me a lot. anyway, i know where im going to college and she is fairly she where she is going. we got into the discussion about college and a while back she said she would want to be single, so i was kinda hoping id change her mind. well it came up today and one of the things she said was, "i just think you'll regret it because your feelings will change when you leave." this was a response to me saying i wanted to try to stay together. i think she knows me better than to say that, im actually kinda shocked she would say that. part of our history is previously dating and breakin up and me caring about her for about 2 years while we were apart.

 

ladies...why would you say something like that?

[coollady1957]

Well you say you already know that she does not feel quite as strongly in the relationship that you do. College and going away will keep you a part quite a bit, and she has already told you that she wants to be single.

 

She is probably not ready for a committed relationship, and she knows that it would take alot to maintain being a couple while away.

 

She has pretty much told you her feelings, and not much you can do to change things. I know you said you love her, but maybe its time to move on and start seeing other people.

[jeeper]

even still, id rather spend the last 5 months we have together. probably getting my hopes up but i still want things to change, i dont see the use in trying to find someone else when college is coming, especially considering how i feel about her now...

 

i am young but ive been through quite a bit and have a pretty good understanding of relationships, i know how i feel and what i want. one thing that bothers me are some adults or older people dont think young kids like myself can find someone they are truly in love with...im sure you know what i mean. and coollady im not saying your one of those people, please dont take offense to what i said...

[coollady1957]

NO offense taken. I was 15 when I met and fell in love with the guy that became my husband. We dated and married when I was 18. So I definitely understand that even at a young age, love does come to us.

 

It will be really hard to change her mind if she is set on being single when she goes off to college. Does she understand the level of your feelings for her, and that you love her?

 

I am sure you realize that if you are going off to different colleges it will be hard to maintain the long distance relationship. College life brings about alot of changes and there is so much out there that will be tempting , even if in a committed relationship.

 

I hope the best for you.

[jeeper]

she knows how i feel, well at least she knows i love her....i mean i would marry her in a heartbeat....not right now but after college...she doesnt know that, i dont know what she would say if i told her that. i know her mom has told her not to let me get away since im the kind of guy you would want to marry...she did tell me that.

[Momene]

I never had the experience of young love but I have no doubts that it can be even more intense than when you're in your 20s and 30s. Your girlfriend is right about 2 things: You can't realistically marry and live together until you finish your education. Long distance is hard and the younger you are, the harder it is. At least in England, it is a sorry statistic that most long distance relationships that involve study are over by the first Christmas. Even if you stayed in your home town, you will both change as you grow up and (believe me) growing up doesn't magically stop on your 18th birthday. Indeed, I am still growing up at 51, although the rate has slowed down somewhat over the last few years.

 

My advice is to enjoy the next 5 months. Perhaps even have a vacation together but don't expect anything afterwards.

 

Good luck.

[jeeper]

Thanks for the replys guys. So as of right now im just gonna go with what she wants, go to college single, if she changed her mind that would be great but im not gonna be holding out for it to happen. she does talk about how we will still see each other on breaks and stuff, and her college is on the way home from mine so i would be able to stop by and have lunch or something on my way home...so the next 5 months should hopefully be great and we'll see what happens after that. maybe after seeing what else is out there we will both feel different about each other which could be good......or bad...