enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 OK OK Im stumped! Ive been deep in thought for nearly two weeks wondering why guys dont call after dates! Ive been in this situation 3 times now! WHY DONT THEY CALL? Is it becasue they only wanted to go out with me to see if I would have sex with them (I made sure it was clear to all the guys I dated there would be no sex!)...Am I picking the wrong type of men? The date always goes great but whyyyyy dont they call? Ive confronted one of the guys and he said he didnt want to get serious!! Is that the same for the other guys? WHats the deal!? Link to comment
mmd Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok well im 16, I would usually call after going out with a girl to say how fun it was etc or a day later. Possibly in your case, maybe you just have to be patient or maybe they are waiting for you to call. Or they might be shy, maybe they are just warming up to you. When I dated I always found it hard to call the girl because I would get tongue tied and scared I might run out of things to say... Im quite inexperienced its just my 2 cents. Good luck Link to comment
PocoDiablo Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Well, not saying to have sex on the first date or anything, but if I were going on a date and the woman said "Oh, we're not going to have sex." you just said "You're ugly and I don't like you." Why would I want to call you back? You just insulted me! Personally, I find that if a woman starts talking about sex in general it's a turn off. Either way - she wants it or not, I don't want to talk about it. It's a private thing and that is what flirting is for. Maybe you should calm down a little and realize not all guys just want to have sex, and the ones that are too pushy, you can just say "No" or not end up someplace with a bed and that will take care of it. It's hard to have sex in a Starbucks.... Link to comment
SxcLady Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 They shouldnt be expecting it and neither should you. You shouldnt be expecting that thats all they want you for. PocoDiablo is right. Dont even mention it. Every date ive been on, Most of the guys call the next day or the next night. Some however dont. And I respect that. I call them back and start talking to them. Its usually the quiet ones who dont call you. Because they dont know what to say, or they afraid of stuffing it up. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 i dont talk about sex... when the guy trys to go further I stop them (for example, when kissing their hands start wondering down to my zipper :S), which in any language means no. I never mention sex. Link to comment
SxcLady Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 ahh I see, sorry i thought you meant you made it clear verbally. Ok then do they all do things like that? Maybe your dating the wrong guys. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Well to be honest and im ashamed to say...yes they do!... I feel so, I dont know, Like ive got a sign on my head saying I want sex or something. Maybe I am picking the wrong guys, I dont know, they all seemed so sweet. Link to comment
PocoDiablo Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 i dont talk about sex... when the guy trys to go further I stop them (for example, when kissing their hands start wondering down to my zipper :S), which in any language means no. I never mention sex. Where in the world are you going on dates that you can make out in such a way they can put (or try to) their hands down their pants???? If you are going to their house, or your house, you're practically inviting them to have sex with you. Then if you shoot them down, of COURSE they won't call you back. They wanted to have sex and you put yourself in a location where it was obvious you did too. Then you stopped them - rejected them - so why would they call back? Here's a hint: A first date should always be someplace public. And afterwards you go your separate ways, not to someplace alone. Going someplace alone sends the signal you want to have sex. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 I do go to public places! as if im going to invite them over or go over their house! LOL. Usually go to dinner than watch a movie or go dancing at a club. Its all public! Link to comment
SxcLady Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 eh! YES! YOUR CHOOSING THE WRONG GUYS! I have been on a few dates like that. I even met someone when I was in the city and he tried it on me while we were dancing. So I moved away to dance with my friends... HE CRIED!!! I felt so mean but I was proud of myself for moving away. Since then ... weve been pretty close friends ... (enigmaz_Barbie... Thats the guy my poem is about) LOL. Some guys dont realize that what they are doing is wrong. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Yehh! I guess your right!! I must be really bad in picking guys, its like 3 in a row! LOL is that a world record? hehe. HE CRIED!? woa! Its awesome how you did the poem about him!! Its a great poem sxclady!! Link to comment
SxcLady Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Thanks and GoodLuck with the next guy. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 hehe thanks sxclady! Im sure I'l need it!! Link to comment
PocoDiablo Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I do go to public places! as if im going to invite them over or go over their house! LOL. Usually go to dinner than watch a movie or go dancing at a club. Its all public! Movie = make out session. Dancing = bump and grind. Both are very sexual for a date. The whole point of going on a date is to get to know the guy, right? So, sure, at dinner you can *sort* of talk to him, if you don't mind talking with your mouth full through the meal. Movie? You can't talk to him. Dancing? Last club I was at I couldn't even hear MYSELF talking, let alone my date. You're not picking the wrong guys, you're sending the wrong signal. First off, when a guy asks to go on a date and suggests a movie or a club, you need to decline and say that it's not a good first date and suggest a coffee date. You can both sit and talk and get to know each other. You can actually find out what he's like. I somehow doubt some guy is going to try and put his hand down your pants at a Starbucks. (At a movie? Sure! A dark club? Sure!) Then see if he's a gentleman. Does he pay your way? Open the door? Has manners? Is polite? You need to talk to him and get to know him. As far as the guy who cried, he was either really pathetic or more likely trying to manipulate you in a passive way to give in. Dump a loser like that fast. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Well, this seems like an interesting concept. As an incel, or person that dates once in a blue moon, I would not know that it is relevant or not to call someone after a date, unless something had happened (like sex). If you are a high-risk low probability girl that any action will happpen, then I could see you being put on a back-burner, while more better prospects are pursued. However, I'm a virgin incel that has social anxiety where I dont like talking or calling people up, in general. Furthermore, I usually get tired of the girl after the date, and you need to keep a distance in order to ensure future dates because if you are too clingly needy or too available, by making such calls, then that may not come out right. I liked to have the date, enjoy the memory by myself afterwards, where I would call her to follow up on her to see when she wants to meet again - certainly not just to say 'hi', and start downgrading to a friend category, right? Link to comment
SxcLady Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Movie = make out session. Dancing = bump and grind. Both are very sexual for a date. As far as the guy who cried, he was either really pathetic or more likely trying to manipulate you in a passive way to give in. Dump a loser like that fast. The crier was just to tell enigmaz something. Ignore that. That was on my behalf. Has nothing to do with her! By the way, she isnt choosing the wrong places. I go on dates to those places all the time! doesnt mean those things thats just what you see!!! And only a few guys have attempted that and ive pretty much given the choice to them, Fuc* Off or be sane! Link to comment
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