I am at a loss

[marinaprettyone]

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for three years. Our biggest problem has been his ex girlfriends, one of whom i believe he cheated on me with, if not physically then emotionally. We broke up for about four months, and during that time he began sleeping with this exl. He came back to me and told me he missed me, and that he wanted to try things again. For several months he has been an angel, and even promised to stop having contact with the ex. However, we travel in the same group of friends, and have to see her often. She is very angry at me, and continually badmouths me, gives me dirty looks, and takes vindictive actions against me. He continues to be friendly toward her, and they are talking again a little bit. I believe that she is angry at me because he let her think that I "stole" him from her. I tried contacting her and trying to make peace, but it ended badly. I believe he should confront her and ask her to leave me alone, because I have done nothing to her. Is this too much to ask? Is it too much to ask for him to stop seeing her completely? I am so tired of this. I am trying so hard to rebuild trust, but it is so difficult with her always up in my face. Also, some of the actions she has taken against me, he knew about and didn't tell me about until months later. I feel that he should "have my back", and that being friendly to her is just not right. Am I wrong?

[adidas7fire]

No, I don't think you are in the wrong to feel the way you do. If it were me, I'd ask for him to stop having contact too. I mean, I asked that of my bf and he did for a while... but he lets me see anything that he gets from his ex's if he gets anything and that leaves my mind as ease. I don't know how you put up with that... it would be super hard for me. But he should definitely set a boundary and choose between her or you. That's just my opinion... he's with you... he should be making you feel like you're the only one that matters.

[bobo85]

Your are definetly not wrong. You are his gf and he should put your feelings first above anyone elses.

 

I believe that there is a trust issue going on here. It sounds like you don't trust him. And who can blame you, he consistantly talks and sees his ex. It sounds like this guy has a lot of excess baggage and if you do want him to be your man you better prepare for all the drama him and his exes are going to bring into your life.

 

Think about why you want to be with him. Do you really love him or do you just hate being alone? Evaluate your relationship. Being on and off for 3 years is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you choose to stay with him...be prepared to handle a lot of excess baggage. However, if you do dump him, you will have a fresh new start with no drama (other than him).

 

Good luck in all your decisions.