So Confused/Clueless

[Ice Breaker]

When I met my girlfriend she was like a dream come true… literally! I found everything I was looking for in a girl. "Thank you god", I found myself saying often. The more I did for her the more she wanted to reciprocate 110%. 2 months into the relationship she takes me to meet her parents. 3 months I am taking her to meet my parents. My friends and family love her.... I think you get the point. Now maybe we went too fast, but I was so caught up I wasn't paying attention to that and at the time it didn't matter.

 

Are we perfect for each other? I thought so, but around 5 months into the relationship I started seeing problems. If she got upset with me - in my eyes - she would overreact. My personality is very cool headed, so sometimes I would talk to her, send her flowers and try to calm the situation. A lot of times though I would need a few days to just not talk to her as to not lose it myself, but not addressing the situation often made things worst; And here lies the problem.

 

A few of our disputes have gone unresolved and every time that I confront her about it we end up fighting. Maybe I let those issues sit unsettled for too long, but she has built up so much resentment that it's been a year and she now wants a "break". Now her idea of "break" is defined by us still talking and seeing each other but on a friendship basis. Some days she seems very detached and then other days and she will break down in tears. So naturally I asked her does she think we can work things out, or does she want to end our relationship. She wants things to work out and so do I.

 

How do I mend this rift that is quickly growing between us?

 

[SilverCloud]

She wants things to work out and so do I.

 

Concentrate on the fact that you two want to work things out. The honeymoon stage of the romance is gone this it the time the real efforts of the relationship have to be put it.

 

If you both are dedicated to the relationship then try to compromise on your arguments. If she feels strongly about something and you do to, then find a median.

 

Both of you should realise that relationship require work and compromise. If you really want everything your way then you both are better of apart.

[thorak]

Me and my now ex had an issue in this regard as well... she was adament about expressing her feelings and would go off the handle quite often (door slaming etc)... though it bothered me, i grew used to it and accepted it as her way of dealing with things. Me I was more reserved and shy about expressing myself - easy person to let things go for the most part. But when I get heated i need cool down time before I can discuss things - she always needed to discuss things in the heat of the moment (i always thought this made things worse).

 

anyways, point here is that we were together for 8 years.... over the years this difference between us started to cause a fair amount of resentment from us both.

 

I say this not to frighten you - but to encourage you to either work hard towards each of you finding this compromise - and not only that, but discuss this possible difference so you both have understanding.... if you leave things to long and just dust them under the carpet they may come back to haunt you.

 

communication is so important in a relationship... especially when the 'honeymoon' stage is over.