SweetGurl80 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hey.. My name is Shawna Grandal. I'm 25 yrs old also I'm deaf... I want to say this here because I don't want to talk to any my friends who I have been trustful.. So I hope here able to helpful me understandable... I know I'm too young for it but Sometimes I feel grow-up but Sometimes I don't feel grow-up.. So please try give me little few thing idea how I can change the relationship... My boyfriend and I were broke up for almost 1 week.. I dont know why we broke up.. I was so confused.. And he said that I treat him really wrong thing and put him through which it is not right path.. I think a reson I broke up with him because I felt not fair for me to hear whole of his words.. And he hasn't hear of my words likely I said how my feeling.. And he said that I have been learn from my friends and it make my relationship worse and cause problem... IS IT TRUE???? Then few days later I got bigger realized then I'm trying to talk to him and trying work it out.. But I was so shocked that he refused come back w me!! I am trying to tell him that I won't let it happened even again!! He seem not believe me... Damn it!!! I felt that I dont know who i am!! I felt that it whole of my fault for everything putting him through likely ](*,) hell! I dont know what I can to do... I trying keep tell him that how huge I made mistake and I promised him.. I won't do it even it... Do all of ya believe me that I won't do it again or think I am bull? Please help me, because I have been cry almost 1 week plus not sleep really well plus nothing to eat at all... because it messed up in my tummy cause if I eat one bite it make me vomit.. I think I am not enough to become recovery myself I have been begging him to come back w me... He seem don't want to.. And I blame myself and I treat him wrong thing.. I guess it whole of my fault.. I feel that I admit I did ruined the relationship by myself So Please help me with the idea how I can change it!!!! Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Did he ever tell you in what way you were treating him wrong? It is easy to believe that someone will change but the fact of the matter is, not many people ever do. I believe that you will do your best to fix any problems in your relationship but the fact is that he does not want to get back together. You need to accept that. Relationships are two-way streets. It takes two to tango. In your case, I doubt that is is ALL your fault that the relationship is "ruined". Did he ever tell you before you broke up that there was something bothering him? Did the two of you communicate well about other issues? Is he deaf too? The reason I ask this is beacuse my best friend is deaf and so a lot of the time it is hard for her and her boyfriend (who is limited in his sign language abilities) to communicate. It's only been a week so it is especially difficult to get over things or even focus because of how emotional you are. Give him space and time. If he truly loves you, he will come back. If he does come back, it is then that you should try to fix things. In the meantime (I know it stinks) but you're just going to have to accept that it's over and leave him alone. Link to comment
SweetGurl80 Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Oh I see.. That is so great! I trying to telling him that how much I were sorry what I did to him... But I really want us to sit down and discuss about this happened and I will tell him more deeply what is going on.. But He said that my friends cause us to have the problem is that true??? it just because I just need to talk to someone who I feel comfertable! now I felt that I don't need talk to anyone because of that.. So why should I leave him alone because I am at his house everyday I sleep there.. It hard for me to doing it because I can see him everywhere he around me... And it make my body really shake so bad and feel like want to jump on him and hugs him.. I just want to show him how much I loved him so much.. But I couldn't doing it... Also most of time I drive around and not thinking about anything I felt that my mind are too blank.. Sometimes I want do something stupid but I don'n know when it will be able to be more space because I am there where he around while we broke up.. We hae been together for 3 years... I have a hubby but we are apart different house.. my hubby and I were together for 13 years until I left him for good.. Also I really love this man so much because I never loved anyone before just HIM.. tell me how could I leave him alone where I see him everyday! huh? and yes he is deaf. Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Wow, living together definitely makes it difficult to give him space. I know what you mean by having the urge to just pounce the one you love. I've been there. It seems to me that what you said is the best solution, to just sit him down and talk to him calmly when neither of you are busy. How is it that your friends are causing problems in your relationship? Link to comment
SweetGurl80 Posted January 16, 2006 Author Share Posted January 16, 2006 Okie here is what my friends... When I tried to tell him something.. He seem can't stand up on my words so I accpet what he have been done.. Then I went to my best friend and talked to her about this.. Then She give me a idea.. Then I came back home and talked to him and he pissed off because I told my best friend about it... I was said huh I just need talked someone.. I guess he dont like it.. I think he want it is private it just between me and him.. that how Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Oh! He is upset that you confided in your friend about your problems? That's what friends are for! It seems to me that knowing that other people know that things aren't perfect is hurting his ego and that's why he is so upset. Friends are there for when you need someone to talk to. Don't ever feel bad for turning to them in your time of need. Like I said before, that's what friends are for! I think he is overreacting. I understand how you feel. You just want things to be good again; you want to understand eachother and to be able to feel the way you used to when there wasn't a problem; to be able to kiss him and hold him and know that everything is going to be ok. I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now. I know it stinks. Like I said before, talking to him does sound like your best option...ESPECIALLY since you live together. I don't know if I am right in thinking this, but he seems to be very stubborn. I hope he listens to you and takes what you have to say to heart and isn't just going to say what he wants and expect you to give it to him without giving you what you want too. I hope you do get to talk to him and that everything turns out the way you want it to! Good luck! Link to comment
ratherbesailing Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Sweetgurl - All you can really do is tell him you are sorry and that you understand that he is angry and ask for his forgiveness. Let him know that you didn't mean to make him feel like you had betrayed his confidence. Let him know that you wish things could go back to the way they were but that you will respect his feelings and give him as much space as possible being in the same house. Then as hard as it is, pretend to be happy and don't show too much interest in him. Let him see you at your best, strong and happy and moving on. It doesn't make any sense but he's going to be much more interested in you if you seem indifferent than if you are sobbing and begging for him to come back. I assume that the friends that you talk to are also in the same house and are also somewhat his friends. If so, he is probably a private person and is embarrassed and does feel like you betrayed him in a way. Breaking up with someone also hurts them and they feel rejected. Feeling rejected makes you angry and his revenge is to make you feel hurt and rejected. Us guys are an immature lot and he is probably trying to get even with you for hurting him. He'll cool down and he may forgive you but he won't be as trusting anymore. I don't mean to make this all seem your fault. I'm sure he had his doubts and issues before any of this came up just like you did. Relationships are always easy. Time will tell how this works out but you need to appear sorry for hurting him but strong and happy, not weak and miserable. Good luck. Link to comment
SweetGurl80 Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 alright... so is anyone can help me how i can write the letter to him i will leave the note in his room before he get home so i will leave tomorrow and find a place to live... so is there anyone can help me so i can write the letter to him? right now i dont know what to say? i want to ask all of ya a little favor to help me a little a bit Link to comment
SweetGurl80 Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 Well... Thank for tryin to tell me and help me out.. So we seem work out but I'm not sure.. Because we slow step to getting everything back together likely normal.. So thanks for trying help me out Link to comment
Boricua7 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I'm glad things worked out for you. I hope things continue to get better as well. Link to comment
SweetGurl80 Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 yea thanks... we already work out... i explain him everything which really hurt our relationship.. so finally we worked it out.. thank for you try help me out... i realized what i am wrong thing to him.. i already fell in the wrong path.. so now i got it right path so i wont fell into the hole of path... thank so much Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now