I talk to much! In detail that is! Short Post though :-)

[virtualjedi]

Deleted due to privacy

[PocoDiablo]

I did. My fiance does. I know lots of people who do. It's just a natural thing. It takes time to learn how to not talk too much.

[ocrob]

Hi there,

 

I recently started reading a book that will help you. I am only 1/3 through it, but it is amazing. I saw an advertisement about this book on this site and decided to get it. It is called Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. I am not about advertisements, but this book is good. I hate reading, but it is very informative. It teaches you to have a true conversation and make it meaningful. It will help in business, your personal life and your relationships. Check it out and let me know what you think. When I am done, I will give you my analysis. This woman is very intelligent and really knows her stuff. She advises CEO's of large companies. I am guessing that this will help. I tend not to deliver the message that I want and am hoping it will help.

[DN]

I know someone like that - he can only tell you everything. If you make him cut to the bottom line he will - but then he goes back and tells you everything anyway.

 

People like that don't seem to have a mental editor, they can't précis anything before saying it and so everything has to be said for fear something important will be missed out.

 

Try speaking a little slower and take deeper breaths between sentences. But the most effective way to deal with this is to cut to the bottom line first as often as possible. Let's say you want to tell someone you bought a new TV. You might say:

 

"My old TV is broken, so I went to the store to have look at what they had. The parking lot was busy and it took me a some time to find a spot. When I went in I saw a lot of TVs. I looked at big ones, small ones, regular ones, flat screen and there were so many. The clerk had to help me choose. But eventually I chose one and then I went to the check out and decided to pay by American Express. Then I found my car and went home. The TV is fabulous"

 

Instead of all that say "I bought a new flat-screen TV today - it's fabulous"

 

Now you have told the person the most important thing about what you wanted to say. If they seem interested they may ask a question, or you can say something else about it if you want to.

[darkblue]

I tend to have the opposite problem when speaking - I say too little.

It's an articulation problem that I have. I can't seem to find the right words to fit the meaning of what I want to get accross at the time.

 

In writing - I can articulate exactly what I want to say, because I have time to think.

 

thereforeeee, I suppose it is up to yourself to retrain how you speak - giving less information. Or only the necessary information.

[ocrob]

Darkblue, I am guessing that you are like me and your mind works very fast. I need time to gather my thoughts and not just say the first thing that comes to my mind. It is weird with writing because I can just write a poem or letter in a matter of minutes. Maybe this just means we are really smart. : ) Just a joke all.

[darkblue]

It most definitely is, ocrob.

My mind races through the process of thought, from every angle, before I can properly articulate what I mean.

It's strange, because I have been told many times that I am articulate.

 

I remember a quote, from someone who I thought was a very intelligent person, who said:

"I'm sorry for pausing, but as I am not very intellectual, it takes me a while to articulate my thoughts."

 

I think it is also that we are trying to cover ourselves from every angle of misconception - we don't want anyone to take us the wrong way, which means being precise about what we want to get accross.

[darkblue]

On reading this, I had to fish out my Winston Churchill biography, as it reminded me of something he wrote:

 

"Sir Redvers Buller... was a characteristic British personality. He looked stolid. He said little, and what he said was obscure. He was not the kind of man who could explain things, and he never tried to do so."

For this - he was regarded with the utmost respect. The general public put their full trust into him - all because, he revealed little about himself and his opinions.

He was considered a sensible and stable man, and officer.

[DN]

Churchill also said "it is pure laziness not to compress thought into a reasonable space". That may not be the exact quote but it is close enough. He was referring to the very lengthy written reports from an Ambassador but the principle is the same. Further study of Churchill will show an economy of words both written and oral. He was as quick and concise orally - but only when he wanted to be.

 

The main thing is that he concentrated on the main point of what he wanted to say and was not distracted.