Asked for a meeting with the ex...

[xenakis]

Hi guys,

 

Me and my ex live in different cities. Next weekend I am going up to her city for the first time since our breakup. Since 3 months actually. We have been on semi-good terms in the last month texting each other once in awhile. She texts me and replies to my messages. Although she is still rather cold and I do most of the chatting.

 

Last night during our convo, I could see she was busy. Not replying fast. So, I told her I was going to have a bath, told her good night and then asked if she wanted to meet for coffee next week when I will be in town. All this in one sentence. She replied saying "Sorry I have three conversations going. Talk to you later".

 

The problem here is that it seems she didn't read my message. Else, she would have known I was letting her off anyhow.

 

This leaves me a bit perplexe because we rarely have a chance to see each other and I want to make sure she didn't miss my message and think I didn't invite her.

 

We both are happy with our lives and I definitely do not want her back. (Unless maybe she would do a 180 attitude change, which is probably not going to happen).

 

thanks guys,

xenakis

[patience]

why not call her and ask to meet for coffee?

the tone in her voice will tell you a lot about how she is really feeling these days

[xenakis]

Complicated, hey, these friendship / relationship dynamics. Just seems to me if I call it kind of gives her all the power. I don't want to be the only one working on the friendship. But, I have to leave my ego at the door that is for sure. But, do I want to be friends with someone who doesn't even read my messages?

 

I think I will wait till next week. I might see her on MSN again. I won't text her first. If she texts me we will see.

 

Unless she asks me for coffee, I don't think I will ask again. I realize I was clear and the fact is either she didn't respond to my question or didn't read it. Either way, that is not much effort on her part. I have friends who make more of an effort so no big deal.

 

Thanks

[patience]

I might see her on MSN again. I won't text her first. If she texts me we will see.

 

That's a good idea. Stick to it, don't contact her first anymore. Right now she knows she has you, and that does not work in your favour at all. She knows that you care, she doesn't need further 'proof' of that. Sit back and find out if she cares just as much about you. You deserve the truth right? So be silent, see if she comes to you at all. If you keep chasing her on MSN she'll have no reason to reach out to you first, will she?

 

It would be better not to text or email at all. If someone really wants to talk with you, that person will make the effort to pick up the phone and call you. Texting takes VERY little effort. It depends on what sort of friendship you want with her. If you're cool with an MSN friendship, then fine, stick to that...but if you want something face to face, you have to do in person activities.

[xenakis]

Thanks for the tips Patience. I completely agree with you. I was chasing her a bit on MSN and it did pay off in a way. The was a crack in the door before I chased and it did open-up a tad more. But, she is still very cold unless she contacts me. When I contact she is cold, when she contacts she is more open. So Unless I see real improvement I will let this go.

 

thanks again,

xenakis

[patience]

no problem xenakis

many of us are in the same boat it seems...at least we have good company