Please analyze my situation (rant)

[steve-0]

Ok so me and my ex were dating for 1 year and I broke up with her about a month ago. I wasnt in love with her, didnt see a future, no passion, etc...the usual reasons for breaking up. However I said I wanted to be friends

 

So in the past month we have talked and hung out every now and then. She sometimes comes over and hangs out for an hour or so every once in a while. She sometimes calls me with her problems she is having with her friends, etc. I dont care too much to hear it, but dont mind it right now.

 

She also tells me she she is seeing this new guy now. Honestly I dont think I have a problem with it, but it does sounds like a rebound guy because they started seeing each other like 2 1/2 weeks after we broke up. but thats her issue. She sometimes tries to keep it a secret from her new guy that she is hanging out with me, and that kind of makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

When we hang out she is always like "no offense but im so much happier now", "no offense but if you came on to me and wanted to hook up, I would just laugh". For some reason last night I told her it would be waaaay too awkward if we got drunk and hooked up...but "im not ruling it out because ive never been in that situation". I have no idea why I said that because I dont plan on hooking up with her whatsoever, I just want to move on. Keep in mind I was tipsy at the time.

 

Do u think being friends is clouding my emotions? She is the one who calls me all the time, I never call her. Do you think I should distance myself from her? I feel that it may be too late. She is a cool girl but we still have that history. I dont want to get in the situation where I find a new girl and then ignore her completely.

[RayKay]

Yes, you should distance herself from her.

 

It may not be obvious to you...but she is telling you about this guy, and saying those things because she is trying to make you jealous, realize what you lost, win you back, whatever.

 

You were together a year, and a month is way too soon for her to have moved on with someone else and be ready for friendship with you...though my guess is she may deny it just to stay close to you.

 

I think some distance is great, you can be friends, but no need to be best friends right off the bat either. If you are meant to be good friends, it will work out that way, if not it won't...you can't predict the future yet...so just for now, limit contact and let her move on.

[Dannysgirl]

This girl is clearly not over you and just using this new 'boyfriend' as a way of trying to make you jealous. If she's so happy with her new guy why is she hanging out with you every chance she gets? Besides that NOBODY would say 'no offence but if you tried to kiss me I'd laugh in your face' unless they WANTED you to kiss them.

 

You should definitely distance yourself from her for the time being and become aquaintances rather than friends in the long term.

[steve-0]

thanks for the replies. I kinda knew that she is trying to make me jealous but I just wanted confirmation

 

ONE good thing about contact after a breakup is for the dumper...so he/she can be reminded about why he dumped the person instead of second guessing himself asking "did i do the right thing?" during NC

 

In this case, i know I did the right thing