Is he thinking of me/us?

[pooch]

My boyfriend and I broke up 1 1/2 weeks ago.........we were very serious and we wanted the same things in the beginning but after 2.5 years he ended up saying to me that he wanted different things than me. The only reason this was tested was because we were going to move in together but he lately has been consumed by his new business that he started (not locally) and in January is planning to move to be closer to his work. He initially asked me if I would move with him and I agreed but 1.5 weeks ago we were in a "rough patch" so to speak (over his work and plans) and he had told me that he could see himself only working for the next five years (he is 30 and I am 29) and that marriage, kids was not what he wanted anymore.

 

I think that maybe he is scared but I'm not sure (scared I might be the one or scared I might not be the one) we have a dog together and he led me to believe that we were going to be together. Needless to say I feel lost and without answers. I haven't phoned him and the day we broke up I asked him that if it was over he needed to tell me and he said it was over. I asked him if he could honestly not see a future togther and he said "no". People who know us are in shock to believe that we are not together anymore as we were such a great couple. I feel like this is a major priority for him and I am not, and I also feel deceived. My question is:

 

How can he not do both (work and relationship) - people do it everyday

 

Is he thinking about me/us? - this is my biggest question????????

 

I struggle everyday with no answers and wonder if he will ever call me again......after the closeness we shared and the friendship after 2.5 years it's really hard for me to believe it's over.

[living_life_sucks]

Well there is always two sides to every story. From your perspective it seems that he is choosing his job over you, but he did say for the next five years. So maybe he has plans to settle down with you then, but you should ask to see if that is what he meant. If so, if you still want to be with him try to see if you can change something about yourself to make the relationship work again. You might just have to be patient and wait until he is really ready. It may be that he is just scared to commit to such a lifestyle change, it may be that he wants to be more financially secure first, it may be alot of things, the possibilities are endless. The only way to solve the problem is to talk through with him and why he wanted the break up and figure out from there whether it is in both of your interests to stay together or to part. Don't let it all end on a misunderstanding. If your ready to settle now and can't wait any loner and he just doesn't feel ready he might not be the right one for you. Hoowever if you deeply and sincerely love him and are willing to wait even if there are no gaurentees in your future on when your family will start or if it ever will then you should probably stay with him.

 

I hope that I was able to be of some help to you. Best of luck to you.

[pooch]

Well he made it seem pretty final and it was quick too especially after 2.5 years together. I keep thinking that he is going to wake up one day and realize that he made a big mistake.

 

We had a great realtionship that is why I think he might be scared and he had also said to me that in the end he was scared to ask me to move away from my friends and family and quit my job only to live for the next year together somewhere else if he didn't know if it was going to work. This really blindsided me. I know relationships have there bumps but I didn't think we had such a problem that we couldn't get past. I stil keep wondering if he is thinking of me.......I can't call him as a I feel this was his decision and that there wasn't very much to say after all was said and done - ie. It's over, no future together. Do guys ever regret decisions like this? Do they still think about things after there done? I don't know where things went wrong.......????