Sense of humor? Advice wanted.

[hazlcha]

I have a strange sense of humor. Sometimes goofy like Letterman, even Mel Brooks style. I like to verbally spar, and just have fun being way out with people. Almost like the Far Side cartoons kind of way out.

 

Thing is, it seems to turn most dates off. The feedback I get is that they think I'm performing for them, or, worse, they take me seriously and just think something's wrong with me. It's annoying, and frustrating. I try to be playful, and people just misunderstand. The only girl I know who gets it is a 17 year old I know. We have a blast going at each other, and truly have a great friendship. But she's 17 and I'm significantly more, so that's another topic to be thought about.

 

My question is, to the ladies especially, what kind of humor do you like in a guy? What makes you feel comfortable, what really turns you on? If we were on a date, what quality of humor/teasing/playing do you find irresistible?

 

Thanks, on behalf of myself... and my next date!

[avman]

I think you should really focus on finding a woman who appreciates you for who you are, rather than trying to change yourself to fit some fictional idea of what you think women want.

 

Though I would shoot for a woman older than the 17 year old.

[wierdo]

i love that wicked sense of humour in a guy.. there are chicks like me out there, you just gotta look.

 

BUT, if at any stage in a date, the chick raises one eyebrow.. just stop. lol

 

i have a far out sense of humour too, but it does get tiring for people, and you just gotta chill.

 

some people just can't be bothered fighting with you (even though you would call it sparring)

 

either that or go to a trekkies convention.. it wont help, but at least you wont be the weirdest person there ...lol

[Shadows Light]

I like a guy with a wicked sense of humor. I have a dry wit myself. I don't mind a little bit of sparring and teasing, as long as the sparring doesn't become personal. Meaning if what you are teasing me about sounds like a personal attack. I'll probably wing one at you and tell you to stop.

 

There are tonz of women out there who appreciate a good sense of humor. Maybe you should try for balance. Remember the old saying, too much of a good thing... is just too much.

 

But definitely, definitely try to go for someone closer to your own age. 17 is a bit young. And whats the adage... 17 will get you 20. So be careful.

 

And keep your sense of humor by all means... sometimes thats the only thing that gets me through the day. Being able to laugh about it all.

[avman]

17 will get you 20

 

Actually the adage is 16 will get you 20, but the principle is the same

[QTpie87]

I love it when a guy has a sense of humor like that, unless of corse he thinks he is totally hilarious and really isn't, that's annoying.

 

I have a very out there sense of humor which people don't really get to know until I feel comfortable sharing it with them (because it's so out there). I have a friend I've known for idk like almost5 or 6 months and he still hasn't seen that part of me. I also have a huge crush on this guy I used to like him highschool who hasn't seen that side of me cause I get so nervous.

 

If I were you I would be glad that you can openly share your sense of humor, it's a gift. Believe it or not there are people out there with literally NO sense of humor what so ever. such as my aunt. She has been in my family for almost 8 years and she is just now starting to laugh a little and she still gets a little nervous around us all when we are gettign a little goofy. She used to think that we were like horrible phycotic animal killers because we were telling jokes about things that have happened to my grandmother (she did Not mean to) and all laughed at her about it.

 

If you are a person with a sense of humor, you go out on a date and that other person doesn't get you. I wouldn't go for them, not a second thought to it, people with out a sense of humor make me horribly nervous, they are too serious and it feels like they are judging you the whole time your on a date, who wants that?

 

As for the 17 year old thing, I would aslo try and find someone older. Maybe try pickign someone up at a comedy club.

well good luck.

Qtpie87

[hazlcha]

Thanks for the input, everybody. By the way, weirdo (nothing personal - it's your username!) the strangest person ever seen at a trekkie convention is probably William Shatner!

 

Shadows Light, I'm curious where teasing, which is always a little personal, becomes a personal attack for you? If it's coming from a good place, where's the red line?

 

And QTpie87, appreciate the input from a 17 yo. (Don't worry, all, I'm letting my friend be 17. She's someone I was in a show with, and we spent time together there.) I'm curious, too, if age isn't a factor in appreciating a fun playfulness. Is there an age where women are getting more serious and look at joking as immature? Game-playing?

 

And, one more question on the topic: Perhaps the problem I've been having is that it's too soon in the relationship to go there. She may feel not yet comfortable with me. Is this the truth? It's so hard to hold back, because I just have such a strange sense of humor. Directors like having me in shows, not because I can act (I really can't) but because I make rehearsals a blast. To all the women who like good-natured playfullness and humor, do you appreciate it right from the get go? Or how long do you need before it's attractive and not scary to you?

 

Thanks again, from me and my next happy girlfriend.

[Shadows Light]

1.

"Shadows Light, I'm curious where teasing, which is always a little personal, becomes a personal attack for you? If it's coming from a good place, where's the red line?"

-

 

- one incident that has stayed with me was from a comedic boyfriend when I was 18. I was probably physically ready for sex at that age, but wasn't emotionally or mentally ready... He teased me in front of others about my viginity...and his little problem. LOL. It was too close to home. I'd say that was crossing the line.

 

- My ex would make remarks about my family... or things about me that can't be helped. His favorite was doing this infront of other people. And then say it was a JOKE, when I told him how I felt. Jokes that hurt are crossing the line. If I wake up in the morning and look like Medusa...thats funny, I can handle it. My ex would say that I couldn't handle a joke... I was too sensitive...well his jokes weren't funny, he was the only one laughing.

 

Is there an age where women are getting more serious and look at joking as immature? Game-playing?

 

- I don't think its an age thing. At least not for me. I think it would be great to be married to a Tom Hanks type of guy who could make me giggle and not take it all so seriously.

 

.

Is this the truth? It's so hard to hold back, because I just have such a strange sense of humor.

To all the women who like good-natured playfullness and humor, do you appreciate it right from the get go? Or how long do you need before it's attractive and not scary to you?

 

- I think its attrractive right from the get go...but as long as you are multi-faceted and can show your sensitive and serious side of you as well. I think a woman would like to know that when the chips are down and life gets rough... you are serious enough to be able to help problem solve, albeit with a little bit of sense of humor.