I am not sure what to do.

[Diegraver]

I am madly in love with this woman. We just broke up for the second time about 4 months ago.(The first time was 2 and 1/2 years ago) I honestly though and think she is my true love (cheezy huh?) because we shared all the same intrests, we are both artists and blah blah anyway... She told me she had commitment issues a while back. We get really close and then after several months of dating she all of a sudden turns into this person who doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. I guess that should have been a sign. The real problem is that i cannot stop thinking about her and I have given her all the space she needs. I have not called or anything. I have been dating and seeing lots of girls over the last years and nothing really helps. I really try to forget but nothing helps. I even tried self-prescribed anti-depressants that i bought over the internet (zoloft). They worked temporarily but the insomnia was too much of a side effect. That was obviously a bad decsion but umm. Anybody have a similar situation with some advise besides oxycontins???

[PuNk_GoDesS]

Awwww thats sad ..... Im really bad at giving advice and ive never been in that situation or anything simular so i dont know ... but i dont think you should go out with her again if she is going to dump you after a long term like that........ i h8 breakup storys........... maybe you should talk to a counciler or a support group.........

PuNk_GoDesS

[Diegraver]

I should also add that i'm a young businessman and after the last breakup I lost all motivation and stopped working for a couple months. I'm just now going back into the swing of things but only because I spent my savings and really need money. Thanks

[sisterlynch]

You need to work on changes that will help you get over her completely. If she continues to come into your life, as will happen sometimes, you must say no, just like to drugs or drink or food, or what ever else is your addiction. Cold turkey!! that is the only way. Expect to feel bad, ambivalent, hungover etc. Just give up the problem that has been bugging you and replace it with a healthy outlook, a new love, take up some new hobies.

 

There are some books that may help, like Men are From Mars by John Grey.

 

I hope that helps!!!

[Lightingbird]

Letting go requires alot of work. It will not be easy. And you may never forget her or be able to some extent let her go. But you can make it.

 

What you need to do is to pick up some new hobbies and try to fill up all of your thinking time with other activities. It sounds like you have lost your idenity with this woman. Moving on, means just that.

 

Start a new workout plan, spend time with your friends or family, pick up a new hobby or just try to be more active in your personal life.

 

It won't be easy, but you can do it. You may never get over her and you need to accept that. You loved her and you had something special. Use that to fuel your future to find someone else that you shared similar interests with and strive to make things better next time around.

 

You will make it.

Good luck to you.

[jurko123]

my story goes something like this....

my girlfriend of 3 1/2 year and I broke up last November (2002). We met in college and this was the first girl that I was 100% convinced that I loved. She had been in previous relationships but they never lasted more than 3-4 months - she called me the "love of her life" and we starting to seriously talk about getting married. In September of 2002 she started a new job as a high school teacher and there is were she met this other guy. At the beginning it was "just a friend", but I could sense a change in her. We had been going through some rough times in our relationship at that point, but I never expected her to fall for someone else. Dumb cliche, I know. I had stuck with her in the worst of times and when I mean bad I don't think it gets any worse. About 1 1/2 years into our relationship her brother committed suicide and instead of bailing, saying "this is too much for me", I helped the family out tremendously by making arrangements for the funeral and just being the pillar of support. I am not trying to toot my own horn here, but I could have left when the going got tough, but no I decided to stay and weather the storm. Anyway, back to our breakup - she basically told me that she had strong feelings for this co-worker and that she was confused about the feelings. One thing led to another and our relationship came to an end.

 

Now about 7 months after the "breakup" she wants to see me to personally give me a small present for my birthday (which just passed). Also recently the number of emails she has sent me to see "how I am doing" has increased (we have not talked on the phone since January). I am so confused. I have stayed away - I have not initiated any emails, phone conversations, meetings, etc. and now she wants to meet to "see how I am doing". ANYBODY HAVE ANY IDEAS BASED ON EXPERIENCE AS TO WHAT THIS CAN MEAN??? I have played out many scenarios in my head, but I still don't know what to make of this.

[Jitrenda]

I agree with sisterlynch...do some stuff that will help you to get over her. And make sure it's good stuff...not drinking, drugs or anything. Pick up some new hobbies, new friends and get busy with your life.

 

I hope this helps!

[Jitrenda]

Get busy with your life...new hobbies, new friends, get into your work, hang out...just move on and in time you will heal...but don't try to hurry up or suppress what you feeling...everything happens in it's own time!

 

Good luck!