Why do I freeze up?

[benrobrbf]

I am a freshman in high school and I have never had a serious relationship. Mostly because I am very shy around girls that I like. It also dosn't help that the girl I like is very shy too. I always think of great things to say to her to start a conversation but I always freeze up trying to talk to her. When ever I see her I freeze up and get nervous. I know I like her and I think she has some intrest in me because I often see her looking at me in class and when I look at her she quickly turns away.

What I am basically asking is if someone could give me some advice on how to talk to her without looking like and idiot and how to find out for sure if she likes me.

 

Thanks in advance

-benrobrbf

[Caldus]

You're just too worried about the outcome that's all. Remember there are hundreds of other chicks at that school that you could try if you end up failing on this one. So stop acting like she's the only good one left or something.

[DropToZero]

Your problem lies in the fact that you care way too much...

 

You're thinking of things to say(which isn't bad), but when you try and actually do what you're thinking...you're freezing up... You're sitting there thinking...what If I screw up? do I look okay? is she gonna laugh at me(good or bad) what if I mess up and say something that makes me look like an idiot(like you said). This is a low self confidence issue....you care way too much what these girls think of you. It's not a problem that will just go away easily, you are just goin to have to talk to more and more girls to ease it away slowly to the point where you dont care at all what anyone thinks of you. This is...being yourself...whether people like you or not. You have to STOP CARING...b/c no one else really does care whether you screw it up or not, except you.

 

You just talk...you have to learn to treat girls just like any of your other friends..nothing more..nothing less. Don't give them any more attention than any of your guy friends, but still talk and keep in touch. If you learn to talk to her once in a while, but not every day, she'll want to talk to you to find out what you're about. Even if you just said "Hi, my name's ____, but I gotta go to class, cya round"....I dont care if you think this sounds easy but stupid...it works. If she tells you her name....even better...or you could use that for the next time...by running into her and saying "I didnt get your name last time..."

 

As for never being in serious relationship...dont worry about that man...not at all. You're a freshman in HS...you have 4 years lol...man I'm a college freshman....never been in a serious relationship...I just let one slip away tho...that sucked, but ....I'm moving on now.

 

Just to recap...learn to NOT CARE....that emits great confidence...and havent met a girl who doesnt like that yet. Also...dont try and find out if she likes you....you'll know if you're doing things right.

[swiffer]

Your problem lies in the fact that you care way too much...

You have to STOP CARING...b/c no one else really does care whether you screw it up or not, except you.

 

I couldn't have said it better myself, great job! I wish someone had shown me this when I was 14 or 15.

 

The thing is, if you are overly nervous, the act of not caring can be ackward because girls can still read your nerves.

 

So it will take time. You have to cut your teeth on failing or suceeding. One good success and it will be in the bag.

 

Listen to what the previous poster said, he is totally, absolutely right.

[OmegaMan]

You're overly nervous because you focus on yourself. If you focus on this girl rather than yourself, you won't be thinking of anything to be nervous about because you'll be too focused on her. She'll feel it and she will open up.

 

Try it out. This has been tried, tested and true.

 

Omega Man

[MetallicAguy]

You freeze up because your lacking confidence(insecure, A TURN OFF TO GIRLS), and your afraid you might screw up what your trying to say, lose her interest, and make yourself look like an idiot. Take the oppurtunity while you can THINK OF IT AS YOUR LAST, IT MIGHT EVEN BE YOUR LAST; JUST DO IT!