OK, new developments...

[UGH1607307217]

Hi everyone,

 

to anyone who wants to read my story so you know what Im updating on...

 

link removed

 

or feel free to find my other posts and ventings

 

Anyway, I am finally at the last few details of having NC, I have brought one of our dogs to live with me, as of right now...I no longer have to go to "the house" to take care of the other two everyday. I just made it through a hard weekend of knowing he was out of town with her...but I didnt talk to him, I really didnt cry .

 

But as of now we only have a couple of very minor details (bills) to split up and I really wont HAVE to talk with him again...

 

I guess Im writing because I now have a different kind of strange emptiness inside, Im sad because I know there will be NC, but at the same time I feel a relief, Im not sure exactly how Im supposed to be feeling right now...Ive been fighting for NC while he has been fighting to stay friends...I feel like I want to sob but the tears wont come.

[Hope75]

Hi Ugh,

 

Good for you! Pat yourself on the back, you should be proud.

 

All along I've thought the best thing for you to do, for your own sanity, was to make it so you didn't have to be at the house every day and constantly be reminded of what you've lost. This is a step in the right direction.

 

Obviously when you've shared a home and pets and bills, etc, it is not as easy and cut and dry to split with someone and not have lingering communication, at least while you straighten out who gets what. I think you are being very strong and doing a great job, I hope you see that too.

 

It's natural for you to be feeling some emptiness right now, it may finally be sinking in that it is over for you guys and that's a hard pill to swallow, believe me I've been there too.

 

It's OK to let yourself grieve. You built a home and a life with this man and it is going to take some time to get over the fact that it's done with. Let yourself feel sad about it, but don't let it incapacitate you. Try to keep busy with work and friends, take the dog you have for LONG walks and use the time to reflect what you've learned from this and how you can improve on your situation from here on out.

 

It gets easier. I've lived with two exes, one for 5 years and one for 2, and I do know how difficult what you are going through is, but believe me, you will be a stronger and wiser woman for it.

 

Hang in there!

[UGH1607307217]

Thanks guys...I just have to get over the anxiety Im having.

 

*deeeep breath*

 

and just start enjoying my own company and know that I will be OK, because I truly believe that. Im just so sick and tired of being sick and tired about all this.

 

Have a great night everyone!

[UGH1607307217]

Why does he have to IM me about upcoming concerts? That was something we always used to have a great time together doing. Last night he sent me a link for Ticketmaster and the Crossfade concert, WHY?

 

He has already told me she isnt as fun at a concert as I am, but why torture me...its like hes saying nana...Im going to see Good Charlotte with her in Jacksonville, and btw yes we will be going out of town together AGAIN!

 

What the *&^% ? WHY? Is it fun for him to do things that he knows will make me sad? Do they get a good laugh from it together?

[UGH1607307217]

let me rephrase that last statement...Is it fun for him to tell me these things only to know they will hurt me?