girl orgasm help-masturbation

[stronghotshot2005]

i've been able to orgasm through rubbing up against something like a matress or pillow etc all the time, but i've never been able to reach orgasm through actually fingering myself. when i do finger myself, i reach the point before orgasm, but i stay there, and i dont orgasm. its like i try but it never comes. has anyone had that problem before? is there a good chance i can reach orgasm when i have sex in the future, since i can already through another way?

[Drizown]

It's rare for a female to achieve orgasm without clitoral stimulation. If you're just pushing ur fingers in and out... chances are that's not enough to take u to the brink of orgasm. Try stimulating your clit with your other hand and fingering at the same time, or just focusing on the clit. That's probably why you can orgasm while rubbing againt pillows and other things... because your stimulating your clit. As for sex... you can achieve orgasms through different positions. For example... acheiving orgasms through missionary sex is very unlikely because there's no clit contact. But other positions like doggy etc. that allow clitoral contact may result in orgasmn.

[SPark]

Go ahead and do what works...don`t feel like there are any rules, but now and then try a new way you heard of or thought up to make sure that you are not missing out on something great.

 

You might want to buy one of those really small vibrators- like a pocket rocket. Sometimes you can find them in the normal drugstore for scalp massage or something with exchangeable heads that are more appropriate for other areas. Then just play around and don`t focus on the goal of coming...just feel what you feel and do what feels nice. Then if you need to, you can always use the tried-and-true, but at least you are one step closer to figuring out all the ways that might be nice when you`re in a different mood.

 

If you don`t want to use electronics, one really good way to explore is to make yourself all wet with oil or whatever and just trace around with your fingers and think sexy thoughts. For clit stimulation, try rolling the "pointy part" of the inner lips between your fingers. Eventually you might feel a slight swelling there...that`s the sweet spot, keep rolling and see how it feels.

 

Don`t worry at all about whether you`ll be ok when you have sex. and please don`t rush into sex for any reason other than you really want to and feel comfortable. Remember, orgasm isn`t something that someone can give to you...it`s something you do for yourself, whether you are with a partner or not. Being easily orgasmic has a lot to do with understanding that orgasm is a continuum....from oopsie! to WOW! and that it`s all good. The better you know your own body, the better you will be able to enjoy sex with someone else, and the more they will enjoy having sex with you, so just remember, no goal, no attachment to specific outcomes, just let go and feel what you feel.

 

Hope this helps.

[lopey]

im in the same boat hun at least im not the only one

[SPark]

Just don`t feel like it`s hopeless, ok? There are no "shoulds", and the point is that you are getting in touch with your bodies.

 

I recently read a book by Dr. Alexander Lowen that was very helpful about the connection between the mind, the body, and the energy that is out there in the universe for all of us to grab hold of (Whoopsie! I sound like Shirley MacLaine again, but, hey, maybe that chick is onto something...all I know is I have FELT it...there is, um, LOVE energy out there floating around, so just grab on and don`t let go...and orgasm, through whatever peaceful and non-violent means, is the catalyst). The book I read was called "Depression and the Body: The Biological Basis of Faith and Reality" (whoa, is that ever a heavy subtitle, but having read the book, I think that the dude knows of whence he speaks)

but he also has titles that include the keywords "Orgasm"and "Pleasure"...so have a nice healthy perv on Amazon and see what others say...haven`t read the user reviews yet, but I would be interested to see if anyone else found the *value* that I did in these books. The copyright date for "Depression and the Body" is 1972, and the ISBN number is 0-14-021780-0.

 

OK, in case you are not willing to wade through 200-odd pages of case histories and academic references and philosophy, and just want to cut to the chase, I will outline 4 of the Bioenergetics exercises that the good doctor told us about in the book I read. These exercises are suitable for both men and women. Put on some nice music that makes you want to relax, listen and breathe...

..I recommend Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young- "Deja Vu" or Enya "Watermark" for the younger set, LOL. If that`s too tame for y`all, try Smashing Pumpkins, "Rotten Apples", tracks 5-10. You can skip track 7 "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" if it bothers your concentration...listen to it later... that`s a great song! If you find better music, let us all know, ok? Relax, listen to the music, and BREATHE.

 

Apparently Bioenergetics is a real therapeutic methodology, so if you are interested or it works for you, just do a search on "Bioenergetics" "Lowen" "Orgasm" and you should come up with something. If you want additional semi-obscure references, feel free to pm me. For me, #1 and #2 were too difficult at first, so I started with #4 , then #3, then #2, now I`m up to #1...no shoulds, ok, but give it an honest try...it does work if you relax and give it a chance.

 

1) Get a sturdy 2-foot-tall stool with no handles or back. Put a folded towel accross the stool. Lean backwards accross the stool, with arms outstretched towards, but not touching, the ground. Breathe deeply, using all of your stomach muscles, breathing from the pelvis, from the core, not just from your chest. Continue for 2 minutes and rest.

 

2) Quoting from the book cited above (pp. 62-63 in the second edition, pub. 1973)-

: "The first step toward grounding is to learn to stand with knees slightly bent. Standing with knees locked back as so many people do immobilizes the whole lower half of the body.

Take a position with the feet parallel and about 6 inches apart and bend the knees so that the wieght of the body is balanced between the heels and balls of the feet. The rest of the body should be straight, with the arms hanging loosely at the sides. The best results will be obtained if one stands barefoot or without shoes. If possible hold this position for about 2 minutes.

The mouth should be slightly open so that the breathing can develop easily and fully. Let the belly out but don`t force it. Holding the belly in restricts breathing and is unnecessary work. You don`t have to hold yourself up by your guts if you will allow your legs and back to serve this function, as they were intended to do. The breathing movements should extend into the belly. The back should be straight but not rigid, the buttocks and pelvis should be allowed to hang loose and free.

The purpose of this exercise is to bring you into touch with your legs and feet, and this will happen as sensation develops in them. Put your attention into your feet and try to maintain your balance bewteen the heels and balls of the feet. As you do this, you may find some involuntary tremors occurring in the legs or body; your legs may begin to vibrate or to shake. Theese involuntary movements are an expression of the flow of feeling in your body" (Lown, 1972, pp. 62-63).

 

See? Nothing dirty...just getting in touch with your body! Let`s try #3 and #4, again 2 minutes each is sufficient.

 

#3. again quoting- "In the [next] position the feet are placed 8 inches apart with the toes turned slightly inwards. With the knees flexed, bend down until the fingertips touch the ground and let the head drop. Then, keeping the fingertips on the ground, straighten the knees gradually until some vibration develops in the legs. If the hamstring muscles at the back of the thighs are too constricted, this may cause some pain. Do not attempt to extend the legs fully and stiffen the legs, as this will destroy the value of the exercise" (Lowen, 1972, p. 64).

 

Nothing scary, right? On to #4!

 

4) (quoting yet again)- "...Remain down, on both knees, with the hands extended, together and flat on the floor. With the forehead in the hands, the person is in the positiion of Moslem prayer. The value of this position is that the head is close to the ground, which symbolically drops the ego below body level. It also allows the soft or ventral side of the body to hang loosely, especially the belly. The rear end should be pushed back as far as possible. This will allow the breathing to develop into the deep abdominal cavity. It can also serve to relax some of the anal and gluteal tensions. One should hold this position for 2 minutes in order to feel the relaxing effect of letting the belly hang freely" (Lowen, 1972, pp. 70-71).

 

I`ll be very interested to hear if anyone does the exercises, just 8 minutes a day, folks, no sweat, no strain, and if others` practice brings about the same amazing and potentially life-altering mind/ body changes that I`ve had. Orgasm might just become a piece of cake instead of something to fight for. Don`t fight for it. ladies, just create an atmophere in which you can call it to you at will!!

 

Hope this helps someone!!

 

 

Reference

Lowen, A. (1972). Depression and the body: The biological basis of faith and reality. New York, NY: Penguin Books.