In this Room

[ForAnother]

Just came up with some words that came out on the page.

 

In This Room

 

A hollow bellow

Will ring

To sing a soft sorrow

Core rung

And surface strung

To strike at what

Had made the mingled worse.

Sought out

To be brought down.

I am struck

Of conscience

For its gone with the calm,

but with the calamity

In this distant

Basement.

Where only the water seeps

To sink

The room

To sleep.

 

ForAnother

[ForAnother]

Its cool, I hope those that read it enjoyed it... just wish someone would say if they liked parts or didn't... or if they think its actually interesting to read.

 

ForAnother

[black_magic]

Heya, only read your poem today, know the feeling at times (your responce)

 

i think your poem was creative, i think youve moved away from the idea of ensuring the rhythm was right and instead youve chosen to have impact through your words. i thought you were creative, i must admit i did read it a few times, trying to suss it out. i dont actually know what calamity means, so maybe if you could define that i could give you a better opinion.

 

(i like to assess poems but arent sure on some of the words so ill leave that for a while)

 

Kel

(ill take a look at some other poems)

[ForAnother]

Calamity: An event that brings terrible loss, lasting distress, or severe affliction; a disaster

 

Thank you for your reply. I did lose the rhythm, and most of the time I do. About an event that will be payed away by letting it drown someone to safety.

 

Hope you understand it a little better now.

 

ForAnother