I feel like no one will ever want to be with me

[Micwu_25]

This is an old post

[Beec]

You will be fine. One big reason, you learned something. Don't stop. Keep learning. Learn about why we fall for who we fall for, learn about how to work on different aspects of a relationoship, how to meet and date more women. Work on the skills you use, and you'll be better in the future.

[al7]

 

11/16 to 11/30 – She called several times and tried to be sweet but never verbally asked to get back together(but was obvious she wanted to get back together).

 

1) Think things thru before you say it

2) Don't ever beg or plead. It's not attractive.

3) Learn to listen

4) NO CONTACT. I felt much better before I saw her.

I know the relationship was short but it was very intense while it lasted.

 

I asked her to be my gf. Now I am home alone with shattered self confidence. Feel like no one will ever want to be with me.

 

 

When she called up to 11/30 it was the crucial time to decide. What were you thinking....From my personal experience: I always had that gut feeling "oh, this is a crucial time" but rarely had ability to decide quickly enough or at least say somehting adequate...

So sure as you said 1) think before, but think quickly... at some moments you have to decide for sure what you are gonna do.

2) It is not only unattractive, it smells with "desperate", for women it is like poison.

4) Very true, once you decided something just stick with it. No amount of words of her can change you.

 

Confidence might be shattered, but look at yourself in a mirror: you are still teh same man as before...still have everything you had before.

You will be all right.

[savannahohsavannah]

You are so concerned about how things look for you, and yet you can't think of how things FEEL for her. Maybe this is why people see you as a player. You don't think about others, only yourself. I'd go to therapy for male/female relationships. Now is the time, so you can figure it all out and find a healthier way to relate to the opposite sex.

[savannahohsavannah]

Just go back and stick with one...you need it!

[thundergirl]

Face it.. you may have to move to another city..sandy

[savannahohsavannah]

Shame on you Thundergirl!

 

No, you have a set of problems, probably ADD, am I right? And these problems leave you with some social issues to deal with. That is okay. Go back to the therapist. What city are you in?

[Micwu_25]

So one of my friends suggests to just email her a short message everyday for two months, be light and funny but no "US" talk. The purpose is to get her used to seeing an email from me everyday when she logs on, then stop. She may wonder why I am not writting her anymore. If she contacts me then it means she still cares and if not, then definitely move on.

 

I told my friend no way I would do that at first but after thinking about it I think I am going to do it. I am a big believer of NC and with any other girls I would apply NC but with my ex, NC won't help me get her back. Once she makes up her mind she doesn't think about it anymore. I know NC should be used to heal, not to get her back but emailing her actually helps me heal too. I have already accepted that she isn't going to reply(not because she ia angry at me but because I said I want NC) so not getting replies from her doesn't bother me much and keeping this hope in me eases my pain for now and two months from now I should feel well enough to walk away. The only thing is, now she will know I am backing out on my own decision again(NC)...oh well.

[Beec]

I would not do it everyday, if you do it. I might consdier doing it in less frequent and unpredictable intervals.