confused with my married life!!!!

[union]

Hello, Im 28 yrs old, n married with my wife for almost ayear now. We've known each other for almost 3 years now, Our relationship before we got married is alright, not that its really perfect or something.For some reasons, we got married... Honestly, I was really afraid of getting married, probably because I have so much dreams and goals in life that up to now I still have not achieve them.I almost back out before the wedding day but she want us to continue, I was totally honest to her about everything. Before the wedding day , I even told her that I have second thoughts of getting married I know its too rude but I just wanted to be honest before doing such thing.But inspite all those we still got married and now everything is going back, up to now Im still thinking whta life could have achieved if wasn't married.Honestly , Im not happy... but i care about her, Im so afraid of giving her up for she might not be able to take it... please help... the right thing to do i know is to stay with her but in reality its not... Im so confused right now. She always tell me that we can no longer do anything cuz we are already married, I know in some point yeah, we just have to work it out but up when? I have this principle in life that for as long as you're happy everything will be ok. please help, I really dont know if im doing the right thing.... thanks

[cs20thcenturyfox]

Hello union,

 

Have you two considered some marriage counseling? You shouldn't give up so easy. I say you guys get some help together and if things remain the same, then maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck to you both 8) .

[uncledave]

I have been married for 25 years and no i am not an old fossil ;-)

 

a marriage works only if you both work at it, then you feel the rewards of it, it's the same with life, you get out what you put in.

 

I work long hours have 3 sons and had a dead end job for 20 years, but i carried on with the belief that I could change it all and now i run my own business and hope to retake my vows next year or two in the way i couldnt affor to the first time. It has been hard and twice i thought my marriage could be over. we never row or fight we love each other a lot and all my friends are jealous of our relationship, it is the only one in both our families that will still be there in 10 years or 20

 

we talk and walk and dine out

 

we do not expect, we give

 

we look after each other but do not fuss each other

 

i wouldn't change a thing, maybe you will have to

[segagirl]

telling her in advance about how you felt was brave, but she listened and you still decided to marry her. What was the reason for still getting married? When you find that reason hold onto it with all you have.

You dont have to give up your dreams, having someone you love should make you stonger, should make you more eager to succeed.

You should insist on getting outside assistance, or you may never forgive yourself. You owe it to her and yourself to make real attempts at working it out. Love is not perfect...its just love. What matters is the beauty of finding someone who loves you, and wants to stand by you. I think you may just have that. best of luck to you

[Knctrnl22]

This was your choice to get married to her and you cant let go of her it would not be fair and it would be selfish. You need to cope with the responsiblity that you have chosen. I know that I speak and that I am not in your shoes but I do know that a real man sticks to his word. whenever you go married you promised to love and to cherish until death do you part. Maybe you really did make a mistake and if you let go of her I don't think that you will be any happier than you are now. You cannot blame unhappiness on the fact that you are married and holding you down. This is just my opinion and view on this matter, you are free to do as you please. Just don't expect her to be around after you have decided that you want to haver her back.