I've Become Unpersonable

[lillady898]

I just don't understand this. When I was with my boyfriend, I could meet anyone and talk to anyone just fine. I was able to walk up to whoever and start a conversation. But since we've broken up, it's like I lost it all. I'm not personable at all. I can't start conversations, or even just say hey to some attractive guy. I always lose conversation and I'm just sitting there in some awkard, uncomfortable silence. It's like, now that I actually need to go out and meet guys, I can't. Has anyone ever experienced this? I don't know if I've just lost all confidence after he was through with me or what.

[Caldus]

It might be partly because you've lost some confidence since your break-up and party because you're trying too hard to jump into a new relationship. Just take it easy and let things progress naturally. Don't expect any guy you meet to be the one. And I thought it was usually the guys' job to approach women anyway. Sometimes it might be better to wait for them to come to you instead.

[skyteph]

I agree with Caldus. I'd say you've lost your confidence and well, maybe you seem to picture your boyfriend as your protector, or maybe because you *had* a boyfriend, you wern't nervous about persuing these guys in a romantic way.

[tiger_lilies]

I was/am experiencing similar feelings of lack of confidence. I found myself second guessing all my decisions, losing faith and hope that I will ever find the 'one', feeling shy when normally I am extremly outgoing and love attention. All this as a result of my ex cheating on me and then walking out on me after I gave him a second chance.

 

It passes. Singledom is all about rediscovering yourself. It's about getting to know who you are again and accepting the same, yet changed individual that you've now become all because of someone who has hurt you.

 

I found what helped me was doing some serious soul searching. I call it 'inner peace". It's always a struggle to maintain inner peace mainly because a lot of negatives that can happen to you throughout life. But if you can find that serenity within yourself, confidence is just around the corner! Take Care.

[CarterJonas]

It's a common thing we all go through when we get dumped, that is a loss of confidence. The only way to get it back it to take small steps at a time. You know you could do it before so there is no reason why, with support and some confidence, you cannot do it again.