Freedom threatening protective boyfriend (simulation)

[LifePak]

I have grown up to notice that there are a certain boundaries that needs to be drawn when the girl is with her boyfriend. I have no ulterior intent. But it happens everytime. I talk with the girl (boyfriend either sees it or that i'm talking with both of them), next time i meet with her, the boyfriend usually gives off signs of dislike or hog her 100% of the time, at times even arguments take place between them and i just silenced myself right there and then. I can honestly sense how the boyfriend is feeling, so usually i just back off from them when the boyfriend is emitting dislike or "guarding" the gf from "attacks".

 

And then i imagine the boyfriend's perspective of not raising a weasel into his life. When boyfriend is with his gf, friendly gesture towards the guy talking to her would only create a path of potential threat. Well, perhaps the friendly guy doesn't have intent, but what happens if they ARE in fact, compatible. Worse yet, more compatible than the boyfriend.

 

I have no questions, but does it remind you guys of some experiences, threats to freedom, or even resentment?

 

Seeing things in different perspective tears my mind up, it seems so solutionless.

[FuriousSam]

Those guys are insecure that's why they became protective. They might act tough and mean, but if they see someone like you start talking to their gfs, then they are afraid that she will be taken away? If the girls are like that, why would you want them anyway?

[LifePak]

Perfect example of my point in how guys view other guys. To the guy, their girlfriends are, illusionary or not, in demand. So then whomever that goes talk with the girl, they would be perceived to be wanting the girl.

 

I find these situations very common... whichever point of view you guys take, whether it's the gf, bf, or the guy talking with gf, what's a good way to cope with these situations?

[FuriousSam]

Pretend that it doesn't bother you. The bf is the wussboy, not you. If you are afraid that you might get hit or don't want to get into a fight (Some of these guys aren't that bright and don't understand why the girl is dating him and not you), then find another girl to talk to. But be cool about the whole thing and you will come out on top. Also, something that I like to do is to make them compete for my attention which is a lot of fun.

[FuriousSam]

Yes, that also depends on his approach to the girls. But I really believe that if a guy is total confident about himself, something like would not happen.

[LifePak]

Switching perspective to the boyfriend: You know what type of guy i don't like most? Ones where they try to group in, act innocent, smiles at you, befriend you, and secretly hoping something will happen. It's so difficult to tell who really has no intent and who has. That's why it drives the boyfriend, especially boyfriend with girlfriends who are pretty, crazy. It has very little to do with confidence. I've already forgiven myself if i ever get jealous over things since it's just human nature. Besides, there are always weak points in a relationship, how can you be confident at all times? i wouldn't blame too much on confidence. It's a matter of how to cope.

[LifePak]

That's true. But there are definitely guys who has no intent but are just being friendly. I trust that because I often am one of them. That's why i resent some guys who hogs their girlfriends all day long. And some situations are that I knew the girl few years before the boyfriend. But the boyfriend, after meeting me, actually said to his girlfriend that i was "staring dead" at him. I think to myself, dude, if you think i'd like your gf, i would have made a move long ago.

 

Sometimes, as one of the poster mentioned, that the girl should take at least half the responsibility as well. Some girls don't know when to stop flirting. I've been in a situation where I'm with a girl, and 4 out of 5 guys pay really close attention to us, some intervenes, some befriend. I honestly don't know which is friend and which is foe. You're surrounded by so called friends, but you can no longer tell who is genuine and who is not. Definitely got me cautious. So that was a good lesson for me.

 

Need some girl's perspectives here.