Charisma? If only?

[WhiteIcE]

Have any of you experienced the "charisma machines", or have been known to be one. I'm talking about the people, who, even if repulsive, have the qualities to keep close friends and people around them at all times.

 

I find it interesting, this quality called Charisma, that gives a person an aura of comfort for all those around them to enjoy. Are we all born with a charisma limit? Can we raise this limit?

 

It would be easy to say that acting friendly and happy-go-lucky would fix this, surprisingly, this is not the case at all. When people see someone with a low charisma rating, acting all friendly, trying to get people to indulge in them, they get a feeling of fakeness. Even if they don't know the person, it's just how the person makes them feel because of their aura. What do you think?

[Roasted Carrots]

I think a lot of it has to do with social skills and confidence. I know far too many people who are interesting and talkative, but have no social skills and are in my "bubble" when I've only known them a few minutes. Literally, they talk about 2.5 inches away from my face. Ugh.

 

And then there are people with low confidence and self-esteem, who have an aura of lonliness around them. Unfortunetly, what the companionship they crave is further away because they crave it so much.

 

Charismatic people have found some special forumula for charm. Usually, they were a middle child (don't flame me, I realize it's just a generaliztion), involved in way too many school activites, and just funny, nice people. They have a zest for life, and people are attracted to that. They are the leaders, and followers follow like bees to honey.

 

The best thing about charismatic people is usually, they don't flaunt their charm. They don't even realize they have it. They just live each day to the fullest.

 

My two cents.

[7CardStud]

I think Charisma is born with someone, and it can go away...

 

Not sure if you can just "gain" Charisma...

 

I have met these people, who just almost seem fake, they try to hard, and come accross arrogant.

 

I suppose you can work on it, but not sure how you would.

 

I agree Charisma has some relation to self-esteem

 

I also found it interesting about the middle child thing (Im a middle child). Not sure if i'm Charismatic, but... still cool

[Caldus]

I think charisma is something that can develop in someone over time due to certain experiences in their life. Just like how anyone can easily change over time.

[caramellabacix]

people with charisma usually have a lot self-confidence, but are still very humble. it's really hard for a lot of people to balance out these two qualities, which explains why not every friendly and confident person seems to posses it. in my opinion, charisma may be something you could develope over time, but not consciously. you need to be comfortable with yourself, confident, friendly, but NOT arrogant or conceited. if it's not really part of your personality to be talkative or extroverted, but you force yourself to be, then that is when you come off as fake.

 

my friends and i used to refer to charisma as "the thing." this is because there were a bunch of boys who were able to get MANY girls to like them despite the fact that they weren't very attractive or popular, and we couldn't figure out why. we came to the conclusion that they just had "the thing" ...but what exactly "the thing" was, we never knew. it wasn't until recently that i realized that "the thing" was actually charisma, and i found certain similarities in those boys personalities that i decided was the "formula" for charisma. those were the traits i mentioned earlier... the ability to be sure and comfortable with themselves, and friendly, without being overly arrogant. but ofcourse this is all in my opinion!

[Caldus]

in my opinion, charisma may be something you could develope over time, but not consciously.

 

That's a very good way to put it. A truly charismatic person doesn't worry about whether they are charismatic. They probably don't even realize it. They just are.

[marolua]

I am not sure whether 'charisma' always means self-confidence. Sometimes just being aware of your deficits but not letting other people to touch your problematic areas means charisma.

Also, charisma does not always mean many people around you. 'Charisma' can also leave a person alone.

 

Only way to solve these kinds of communication problems is only through accepting yourself as the way you are, which is life-long process.

 

And don't forget, out of 100 people only 5 of them are charismatic, but the rest of them do not always bother themselves with lack of charisma.

best

[freeben321]

there is a book about this, it's called Charisma. It's a pretty good book...should answer your questions.