27 year age difference

[notginger]

Just curious to hear if anyone else out there has enjoyed a successful relationship with an older man. I am currently involved with a gentleman 27 years my senior and I've never been happier! We're in the beginning of this relationship - about four months. I'm just curious to hear other stories!

[Danielle_5]

Well, its not that big a differance..But my parents are 12 years apart and very happily married. Now, my father did have a marriage and four children before he met my mother...But they don;t seem to be hurt at all by the age differance.

[daredevil]

That's a cool age difference, I think its nice to hear such stories about people devoloping relationships even though the age gap is huge.

 

I admire it..

 

Love isn't about age or gender, it's about feelings and nothing else. So o what you want to ;-)

 

Im by your side

[notginger]

Thank you for your replies! My own children, now in high school and college, are very reluctant to understand, so it means more coming from young adults. Thank you, too, for your well wishes... I will keep you posted

[TrueHeart]

Notginger-- I truly am happy for you!

 

I will share my experience just because I believe love can take any form. I met my BF when I was 17 years old... In other words, we were friends for the longest time. Recently, he endured a crushing blow to his life when he found out that his wife of 24 years cheated on him with another woman.... Friends and family alike were devistated....

 

To make a long story short, he's 44-- and 20 years MY senior... I have NEVER been happier, and I cannot picture my life without him. I've had 2 serious relationships that failed... one was with a man 2 years younger than I, and the most recent was with one who was 10 years older than I--- so I found my Prince Charming. He's stable, polite, and everything I've ever dreamed of. We too have been dating for 4 months, and I love it. Already, we're discussing marriage and looking for a house together..

 

He does have 2 boys a little younger than I, and thats still tender, but I think they see their father is happy.. and Hopefully, that'll be enough.. Time will only tell I guess...

 

Blessings to you and your new beau.. I wish you all the best of luck! And don't worry-- there ARE those of us out there who share the same scenerio as you... Older love is a much better love! I couldn't be happier. And I thank God everyday for revealing him to me in that way...

[amtheredoingthat]

Hi there! You and I are in very similar positions... I am 40 (will be 41 in April) and my loved one is 26 years older than me... I'm female, he's the older man. I've been with him off and on for over 3 years. I guess the tell-tale statement here is "off and on". He is, without a doubt, the most wonderful man I've ever been serious with. That's why I won't let go. But I'll admit that he's "emotionally unavailable" for the most part. It's a bit of a long story... in part related to the age gap, but only because he was burned by a age-gap relationship in the past (ex-wife of 10 years was 17 years younger). So the relationship is 1) very held back emotionally on his part and 2) supposedly non-committed. That is to say, he'll never marry me. However, he's always been exclusive, and he's been seeing me a long time for someone who is not committed. lol! It's not the healthiest relationship for these reasons, and there's NO reason why any of this will be YOUR issue. Each relationship is different. But if you want, I'll be happy to share war stories with you. Have any specific questions? I'm not sure if my e-mail is in my "profile" or not, but if it is, feel free to write me. I used to be on these boards a few years back, and now that I'm in this relationship again, I'm back.

[Luciana]

I see a lot of misspelling in here-makes me wonder what kind of advice people can give.

 

I am opposed to such an ENORMOUS age difference. I think your children are right in being concerned. You are dating your DAUGHTER.

 

You have different life experiences, different needs, different interests. Problems will arise later. She will regret one day, after the passion and lust are gone, being with such an older person.

 

Couldn't you find someone closer to your age?

[Luciana]

Sorry, I meant your FATHER.

 

One day you will be stuck with an old frail man and you will need to....cheat. I would go ballistic if my daughter dated a man 27 years older-older than me!

 

And 12 years difference is not 27...

[Tpysl]

Oh dear, mispellings of words? Honestly, if you'll base advice credibility on spelling, then you need not speak yourself.

 

 

Notginger, kudos to your finding of a person in your life that can make you happy(ier), because that's all really matters. My opinion is that once age hits around 35-40+, any age difference past that is moot.

[Starec]

I worked with a woman whose husband was 22 years older than she was, and she was sometimes afraid to mention the age difference to people she didn't know well. This was apparently because the only notable problem in their relationship was that they sometimes ran into people of Luciana's mentality, who would arrogantly assume that from minimal information, and from their own age stereotypes, they can predict how other people's relationships will come out. In other words, they ran into a lot of people wagging their fingers and saying, "He's too much older than you! You'll get divorced! You won't have the same interests! You won't get enough sex!"

 

As it turned out, none of these things were true, and they had a satisfying, faithful marriage until the end of his life. Her remark was, "It's not the age. It's who you get along with!"

 

I was once in a relationship with a woman 23 years younger than me for the better part of a year. We broke up for reasons having nothing to do with the age difference, but it was interesting the role that was played not by the age difference, but by my stereotypical perceptions of what effect the age difference SHOULD have. When I was her age, I just wanted to get free, travel around and see the world on my own. I assumed this desire must be buried deep in her somewhere, but in fact, she'd had a rough-and-tumble life and wanted nothing more than stability and family. I was gnawed by the thought that in some years I would be an old man, and that she'd want to find someone younger. This assertion irritated her the most, and one day, after hearing it for the umpteenth time, she countered it with a parallel fear of her own: "You have to work with a couple hundred young women every year. How do I know you're not going to get sick of me and be attracted away by some good-looking girl?" That idea had never crossed my mind, and all I could do was give her the same answer she'd kept giving me -- that at some point one has to choose one's partner and make the decision to be loyal.

[amtheredoingthat]

I agree totally with the last post.

 

As a side note, my relationship has again ended, AGAIN having nothing to do with the age-difference specifically, although HE was having difficulty with the age. Essentially, he bought into some of the stereotypes, including that he wouldn't be able to "please" me in a few years. I have to add, that at this point, he was the best lover I ever had, and he's 26 years older than me. Things may have slowed down or gotten creative in the future, but I'm here to say that his fear was unfounded.

 

But the real reason this relationship ended was because this man has a lot of emotional immaturity. (SEE? Age IS just a number.) He is incapable of trusting or loving a woman right now, and I'm not sure he will ever be again. It's very, very sad for him... for me, however, I just need to move on to something and someone healthier.

 

Luckily, we have kept the lines of communication open. If he needs me as his friend, he's free to contact me, and he has. But I won't allow the serious relationship to continue and pull me down.

 

I have to also say, as someone who ALWAYS has enjoyed the company of older men, I'm now MUCH more open to the mental maturity of a younger man! Age has become less of a factor for me, because of my experience.

 

You seem to get a lot of wonderful things out of your older man relationship. I say, congrats and continue to go for it. Develop a tough skin for the nay-sayers.

[StrawberryDream]

I don't think age should matter. If you get along great and ave fun together that is all that should matter. I have dated a guy for 7 years that was only a year younger than me. I stayed depressed and fustraited for years. Recently I met a man 22 yrs. my senior and I've never been happier. I'm never sad or depressed around him and I have fun with him. He acts more energetic and attentive than the bf I had my own age. We've only been dating a short time and I find myself anxious over each time I get to see him.

He is divoresed with 4 kids. I've never met the kids just seen them in pictures. I love kids and I appreciate him so oddly the fact he has them has never bothered me. We've not come to the point where I'm to meet them. Were still just sort of in the early stages of dating and getting to know each other. But, despite the age gap we have alot of the same values and morals. Which I find surprising since we are from different generations. We've mentioned that he's old enuff to be my dad....but, so what!?! I don't get along alot with my dad the way I do him. The point is he's not my dad he's a person I'm extremely interested in. I don't see him as a father figure what so ever. I have a dad I surely do not need another and he dosent treat me like I'm younger. People are just not accepting easily to what they are not used to.

So at this point I would just suggest go for it have and have fun. Don't worry about what others think. Just do what makes you happy. When I'm out with my guy I'm having so much fun being with him that I don't even notice the gap at all...and I could careless what others think about it when where out. You live and learn and everything you do is a experience just do what makes you happy and not others.

[ravens_folly]

You know I have to comment on this.

 

For the longest time I thought it was stupid and didn't understand why anyone would want to be with someone way older than them... like 20 years for example. My grandmother and her husband were like 12 years difference and I never knew them together... so I didn't know about it... but I thought it was kind of sick and it didn't make any sense to me.

 

Until now... I have met a man who I have feelings for unlike feelings I've ever had for anyone else ever and he is 18 years older than me. So... now that I've changed that perspective and I do realize that age is merely a number and means nothing when it comes to being able to have feelings for a person and when you know what you want.

 

Of course i can understand why although you may have feelings for an older person, if them becoming old and frail is in your thoughts maybe its just not for you and you will settle for someone else younger....

 

it really all depends on the person.

 

So really you shouldn't judge a relationship on the appearance of age... which is just it.. don't judge appearances, they can be decieving!!!!

[lilac_wine]

It's funny how easy it is to question an age diff relationship. I am dating a man 23 years my senior (he will be 48 this year, I will be 25), but that still doesn't stop me from being shocked when I read about people dating someone much older or younger. It's the most normal thing in the world when you're in the relationship, but when you look at other people the protective instincts surface.

 

I think you just have to be confident of how your relationship is going. If your partner is treating you badly, leave, but don't be bothered over what other people think. Easier said than done, sure. But remember - we only live once, so let's not allow other people to choose for us.

 

Age difference is not something you should have to defend, only how your partner is treating you. That's all that matters. My parents were only 2 years apart, and recently divorced after 24 years of marriage. Mom says she wanted to leave after 14 years, but stayed for the kids. My point is that closeness in age is no guarantee that you will be happy.

[Crickett]

I have been seeing someone who is 25 years older than me for about a year now, and we are both very happy with eachother.