Dirty talk?

[m444]

I am really drawn by dirty talking in general, but when I read about it and see other girl's examples of what they consider ''dirty'', I get bummed.

I'm really not into harsh p0rn-like dictionary, but more of a metaphorical wordplay. Tried it for the first time few weeks ago, and I feel a bit clumsy during that.

So, can you guys give me some advice about it, and how can I find my personal inner dirty talker, and be more ''me'' in it?

[Tanzi]

When you use the the phrase "dirty talk" it stands to reason that most people are going to think you mean "harsh porn like" words. If you ask someone to talk dirty to you I doubt very much that they are initially going to assume you want to play a game of metaphorical word play. They are far more likely to assume that you want something hot and dirty to get off on!

 

In what context are we talking anyway? Do you mean when you are chatting to random girls, girls that you have been talking to for a while or girls you are actually physically intimate with?. If it is the first then I suspect trying to entice someone into dirty talk - metaphorical or otherwise - isn't always going to be easy because not everyone is comfortable with it. More, often than not, it is something that we get more comfortable with the more you get to know someone. If you don't know someone then they aren't automatically going to know what you like.

 

If, however, you are talking about girlfriends who aren't meeting your needs then you might have to accept that you haven't met anyone yet with whom you are completely compatible. I have to say, though, that the thought of metaphorical wordplay during sex (or sexting) doesn't come accross as being very hot because you will be too busy trying to think up the next clever metaphor when really you just want to hear something DIRTY! But maybe that is just me.

[m444]

Those girls I am talking about are not my close friends. My best gfs are not into dirty talk at all, so I am feeling a bit alone in this, therefore I ask you guys.

 

Considering that I am a beginner in this, it can be that I am not relaxed enough to consider ''dirtier'' talk. but in order to have that, I want to find my way through it, without feeling a bit funny.

my current partner likes to tease with words in foreplay, but he is silent during sex, so I cant figure out what he likes. but I will ask him. I like to talk a lot.

[Tanzi]

Ah sorry. I misunderstood. I thought you were a guy!! Either I missed your gender completely (likely) or you have now added it for the purpose of this thread. Either way, I apologise for my misunderstanding.

 

It sounds as though your current partner gets so engrossed in the physical act that he can't concentrate on anything else. Do you talk to him during foreplay too? Maybe you could encourage him to talk during sex if you tease him in the same way you/he did during foreplay? Once you have a starting point you can both build upon that when you get more comfortable with each other.

 

Can I ask how old you are ... roughly. It's just that in my own experience I found talking dirty almost perverse when I was much, much younger. Then, as I got a bit older, I found I started to like it but still found it rather cringey. However, the older I got and the more experienced I got, the more I wanted it and the more I felt comfortable with it.

[m444]

hehe yes, I changed it so there can be no confusion

 

at first, he teased during foreplay and I was so literally shocked how much I liked it, that I didn't reacted more than a big smile and going along. when the sex begun, that was my starting point his teasing during fp was really like intriguing kind of way, nothing too dirty.

I'm 28 years old. I enjoyed phone sex few years ago, but never occurred to me that it can be translated into bedroom the older I got, the more confident in my sexuality I became. just to be sure, I'm just a little shy about this and excited in same time

[Tanzi]

I remember the shy and excited period. The first time someone asked me to talk "dirty" to them during sex was mortifying.

 

You do grow more confident as you get older and you do grow more confident when in a relationship. I gather his talk is rather tame (at the moment anyhow). Therefore can you not give the same back during sex to encourage him? If you enjoy phone sex then I am sure you will find it easy to translate into the bedroom when you know for sure that your partner is receptive to it. He may not be, however. Either you can ask him outright or you can encourage him by teasing him with very similar words to the ones he used during foreplay (though they may have to be applied differently!!!!) Have you tried telling him how you like feeling him inside you? That might be tame for some but I'm pretty sure all guys like to know that ... and it's a great starting point.

[m444]

thanks, I will try all that I don't mind tamed things now, especially because there's a lot of chemistry and also, he has very sexy voice. my part was always in a 'do you like it' and 'It feels so good'kind of waz,but I want to explore more

[lavenderdove]

>>so I cant figure out what he likes. but I will ask him. I like to talk a lot.

 

Not all people like it and can find it distracting... and if he is silent during, maybe he doesn't. Ask him whether he does.

[m444]

will do. can't wait