Thought I was tough enough

[StandTall]

It has been about 10 months since our breakup, and I've been doing pretty well. This website was a Godsend for me during times of need, and I haven't felt the need to come back until now. I have been dating new people off and on, and keeping the ex off of my mind. Sometimes I take road trips for work, and that is when I sometimes think of her. I guess I was missing her because ofthe holidays, so I decided to make a harmless "How are you" call. She was very nice as she has been since things ended. She even went so far as to invite me to her annual holiday party. I didn't realize how much that call would affect me until I hung up. My mind went in reverse and I thought back to where we were at this point last year, and sleeping in her arms feeling the cool weather change. During our conversation, I reminded her that if her feelings were ever to change, that I hoped she would tell me. Other than that, I could not call. It has really left me feeling crappy this morning. I hope that anyone thinking of making that holiday call will read this and think twice as it was not a good idea in retrospect. It's easy to forget how far you've progressed. This was just a reminder that I can't go backwards. Anyone have advice for dealing with this difficult holiday season?

[Storm1607307168]

Oh no! You did the fatal 'how are you' call! It's so hard isn't it? I've had some of my worst holiday season blues through break ups or been seeing someone but not be able to contact them during the hols - arghh!

 

I don't suppose there's much advice I can give as I just, well, sort of, went through it. I think I used to try and absorb myself in a project or did something for myself like go to the gym - anything to keep myself occupied. My friends definitely helped too.

 

I hope you manage to get through the holiday season - sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

[Mentor]

Hmmm,

 

I will not be making that call, but I am expecting one from my ex Lisa. When we broke up she mentioned that she wanted to have me up at her cottage over the holidays. Her parents echoed this when I called them to say goodbye, so I think that it is a serious plan. I don't think that I can do it. It will just be another reminder that I have been downgraded in her life, and I don't need to be reminded of this. I have accepted it and am trying to move on. I think that she misses me a lot. I get frequent e-mails and calls from her, even though we agreed to give each other space for a while

 

This sucks

[Prosper]

Hi Pal,

It seems to me that u are very focus on how much progress u had made already and afraid u will lose all the progressing after that call. However i need to make a gentle reminder here, it is okay and perfectly fine to ring her up, coz i dun believe in progressing becomes deterioation the next, as moving on has its ups and downs as well.

 

If u have that urge to call, well call her. Tell her everything of how u feel instead of bottling it in ur heart. Say to her casual things to hey i called to let u know i miss u.

 

i know all hurts cant be tranform to less pain. But i do know happiness for her will works the pain out, and well keep this very strongly in ur mind.

 

I have a song that i have been singing lately which somehow in a way i miss my ex, but i sang it this way instead.. last yr i gave u my heart, the very next day u gave it away. This yr TO SAVE MY TEARS, i gave u to someone ur special.. and i felt happy abt it.

 

Sing and u shld, there is always a song to cover each pain, sorrow, hurt and happiness.. Best of luck!

[Prosper]

merry xmas 8) \ *huggies*

[StandTall]

Thanks for the great advice. I just really feel like I have been kicked in the stomach, and need to try and get back up. I also think a break from dating might be wise as I am not as ready for a serious relationship as I thought I was. I really need to re-evaluate what I want, and whether or not I am ready for something great in my life.

[Prosper]

good luck .. lolx

[DragonGirl724]

im sorry youre feeling so down. u did what seemed to be harmless & caring & it kinda backfired at the end. im glad i read this i wasnt gonna call my ex (its been 9months broken up) but like u i miss him in the winter. & ironically enuff his away msg said "i need soemthing & the other day it said "its snowing but i have no snowbunny to play with." and we went out during the cold months. but i was gonna drop a 'happy holidays' greeting to him, either via email or snail mail. b/c i think hes feeling slight lonliness now & would kinda appreicate it. but i dont think i am.

 

if i see him out one night i will say it though just to be the bigger peson. thanks for posting, you turned me off to the idea. sorry u had to see it the hard way. im seeing someone right now, but i have this hard core fear of commitment since my ex dumped me so i guess i 'KINDA HAVE SOMEONE THIS HOLIDAY' but its not the love i shared last winter. it sucks.

 

i just read an article on 'how to survive the holidays being single' but it really didnt help. blah* hope u can get out of this rut real soon, i know how doin something nice can hurt so bad at the end..in my opinion i dont think u should go to her Christmas party. she may be expecting you & miss u when youre not there to top it off. but besides that it would hurt that much more to see her. i hope i dont run into my ex anytime soon. take care & happy holidays.

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

Thanks for the great advice. I just really feel like I have been kicked in the stomach, and need to try and get back up. I also think a break from dating might be wise as I am not as ready for a serious relationship as I thought I was. I really need to re-evaluate what I want, and whether or not I am ready for something great in my life.

 

damn i just read that! im in a very tight situation right now, think you could help me??

 

 

 

i dont know what i want either & last night the guy im seeing kinda was upset b/c he was asked by some guy 'if im his gf' & he said 'no' & he was weird to me all night ater that. i know he wanted to say 'yes' so bad. he knows hes probably gonna get hurt. im so damn sonfused. please any advice can help. i dont mean to bombard u but i know exactly how u feel. but im just as confused as u are too...

 

*RoWr!*

 

-DG724