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I disagree Amethyst. Infatuation can often be mistaken for love, so how would he know if he was infatuated or not?


If you look at someone, and you care about them more than anything else, and you know they are feeling the same way, then that is love.


Now, then that could still be mutual infatuation, so


If after that, you could decide to trust them with your deepest, innermost secret, and you tell them, then you probably love them.

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That's okay that you disagree with me, and I respectfully disagree with you.


There is someone in my life that I care about more than anything else in my life -- I have also trusted this person with my deepest secrets. Nonetheless, I know in my heart that I have nothing more than a crush on this person. I will never go out with him or anything else (he's married, BTW), and I continue to patiently wait with the knowledge that I will find someone to spend the rest of my life with.


I still think you know either way, and doubt shows that you know deep down that it isn't love.


I once had a boyfriend whom I said I loved, but I had some doubts. I broke up with him several months later, and I now realize what I felt wasn't love but infatuation. (In fact, I think I was 'in love' with BEING in love.)


I know couples who have been married 25 - 30 years, and I've actually asked them if they knew they were in love. Everyone I've asked has said they had no doubts and they knew quickly that it was, in fact, love.


Edit: Just wanted to add that, of course, you may have tiny doubts (like pre-wedding jitters), but I don't believe you would really need to look for signs or ask someone else if you're in love.

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