Redabc123 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 My ex and I have been talking for almost a month, we haven't had the get back together talk but we have talking about taking steps, I usually hear from him throughout the day but its been getting less. I have been missing him alot but haven't said anything because I don't know if we will get back together. I'm trying not to be clingy but I have an urge to talk to him all the time. I don't know if I should push back or forward. When I try to talk to him about us he says its to much pressure. Please help Link to comment
ElenaIMHQ Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 My ex and I have been talking for almost a month, we haven't had the get back together talk but we have talking about taking steps, I usually hear from him throughout the day but its been getting less. I have been missing him alot but haven't said anything because I don't know if we will get back together. I'm trying not to be clingy but I have an urge to talk to him all the time. I don't know if I should push back or forward. When I try to talk to him about us he says its to much pressure. Please help Hi, could you be more specific about how he thinks? I mean, you have talked about taking steps but you also said that he feels it's too much pressure. How long have you broke up with him? Link to comment
The Raviator Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Dont freak out, and for Gods sake DONT PUSH. If he says its to much pressure, believe him. You may want to take a look at this thread in order to understand the psychology of some of this... Understanding Push/Pull theory: But remember, getting back together is not whats important. Getting what you want and need for yourself and being Happy is whats important. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Hi, could you be more specific about h ow he thinks? I mean, you have talked about taking steps but you also said that he feels it's too much pressure. How long have you broke up with him? He is kind of quiet about his feelings but was open in the beginning of our relatoionship... We have been broken up for about a month.. And have only seen each other once. I'm afraid to hangout not knowing what will happen. Link to comment
Amandacast57 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 He is kind of quiet about his feelings but was open in the beginning of our relatoionship... We have been broken up for about a month.. And have only seen each other once. I'm afraid to hangout not knowing what will happen. Did you do NC for this month? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 No I did it the first week of the break up but contacted him because he had my license Link to comment
Dreamboat Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 This is very close to what happened to me and my ex and earlier today, we talked over skype again after a month of less contact and things are looking up for us again. Just to give you a brief story of our breakup, we were together last Christmas and when he came back home from the trip (we are on LDR), he said he was working way too hard to make us work yet he couldn't feel the love and care I should've been giving and he ended it with me. I was totally devastated when he said that it's time we let go. I tried to call him up and send him bulk of emails but he never answered my call and even communicated less and just told me to go and be happy. As hard as it was, I gave him few weeks to be by himself although I was still sending him short emails once every two or 3 days begging him to come back. I thought it was the right move to delete him on facebook but he blocked me in return, but I didn't give up. Until few days of not getting back to him, I made an email telling him that I've done lots of reflecting about myself and our relationship, agreed with the breakup, respect his decision because I couldn't change his mind, not begging or pleading anymore but there's the willingness of me to reconcile if he ever would change his mind. The following day, he replied, thanked me for the email and told me he's been thinking about me. That gave me a hint that he still loves and cares for me. So I gave him a short response that I've been thinking him too and misses lots. On the next day, which is exactly today, I emailed him if he wanted to talk over Skype and he said yes. There, we were able to talk without blaming each other, without barking each other. I talked less and was just agreeing with what he was saying while he's addressing the true reason of our breakup, not only because he was right what he thought about me but also because I really wanted him back and really feel he's meant for me so there's no reason for me at that moment to disagree or object with him. I realize it's all about acceptance and sincerity that you're willing to change for the better for him, that you're willing to make up and compromise whatever reasons of your breakup. I feel in your case, you would need to assure him that you are a different person now after the breakup, that you are willing to be a part of his life without any expectations from you and there's need not to be pressured in the relationship, enjoy what is in the present and take it a day at a time. If you really wanted to win him back, you need to do extra effort and not just wait for him to tell you what to do. Some of the rules in NC aren't really applicable to most. I don't believe about the straight 2 or 3 weeks or even months with totally no contact because every man is different unless you truly know who your man is and what he is like. In my case, my bf is a very straightforward guy, really tough and hard to please which I admired most. He really challenged me to make lots of effort to win him back. We ended up the call with smile on our faces. It feels like our first meeting again and really I'll make it sure that the rough time happened will never exist again. I despise being miserable during breakup. I learned my lesson and I'm looking forward to a better future, that we'll end up exchanging our vows at the altar, I'm sure he wants that, too. Sorry to hack your thread but just wanted to share my experience as you may get some tips from it. Wish you good luck and hope you'll sort it out with your ex. Everyone deserves a second chance. Tell that to him Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 I don't really know what to do at this point, it's driving me crazy. Do I do more or less? Should I stay quiet or show him I care?. By the way I broke up with him so I don't know if that makes a difference Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Hi, could you be more specific about how he thinks? I mean, you have talked about taking steps but you also said that he feels it's too much pressure. How long have you broke up with him? For instance he usually says good morning every morning now all of a sudden today he doesn't Link to comment
twodegrees Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 If you broke up with him then you should press the most imo... He is prob withdrawing because you made the breakup decision and he is protecting himself. If you want to get back together...TELL HIM. Link to comment
ElenaIMHQ Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 For instance he usually says good morning every morning now all of a sudden today he doesn't In my opinion, he still needs time. If I were you, although it might be scary, I'd hangout with him just to know how he'd like to spend his time with me. How he'd treat me and how he'd prefer to be like when he was around me. This will really help me to think clearly. If you want to do this, prepare yourself for any possibilities. Don't try to convince yourself anything you don't know for sure. Accept the fact that you are now not in relationship with him anymore. I usually give something to keep in mind to be the strength and for you, think this way. You feel that this is urgent because of your own feelings toward him, but the truth is, if he still wants to be with you, you guys have all the time you need. To make it clearer, here are 2 chances: 1. He still wants to be with you: it means he will struggle for this relationship as well, that's why you both will have all the time you need. Don't push because he might still want to be with, just needs more time to settle down himself. 2. He don't want to be back in a relationship with you anymore: it means, pushing it would only pushing away your friendship with him, which you still can keep, actually. In both chances, you don't need to rush it. Take your time to see from his side, as well as giving him the time he needs. Hope it helps. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 Thank you for that I didn't hear from him at all today, but yesterday we talked and had a great conversation. What should I do? Link to comment
ElenaIMHQ Posted February 7, 2013 Share Posted February 7, 2013 It's only been one day and it's still normal in friendship. Just give him another day and if it's still none from him, you can start a small talk tomorrow. Just like regular friends, so that he won't feel any pressure. I'm sure if he's ready to get closer to you, his response will be better to you. If he's still rather cold, then maybe he's not really into it. That's why I said you need time to know for sure about this because it's about him and he needs that time. If he's still worth keeping, he won't go anywhere. Just take your time and pull yourself together. It would make you a more comfortable person to be around, right? Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Share Posted February 7, 2013 I received a text about 9:00 at night but didn't respond did I make a bad move? Link to comment
ElenaIMHQ Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Just make it natural. It's alright to be as a friend, but don't get pushy or needy. Be his friend and be fun. Maybe it will help you if you think like this. Will you be happy to be friend with yourself, if you behave this way? Or, will you do this to another friends of yours? Good luck. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I received a text about 9:00 at night but didn't respond did I make a bad move? Depends on what it said. What did he say in the text? Link to comment
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