crizlee Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Open minded I tend to be, Open to everything imaginable. Open as your endless sea. Maybe I am to stride accross your lands, But until now I gaze at your skies. And only she can see the scars in my hands. But to me the universe is endless as your eyes. I am a lover, Lost in a mindful of space. I am more than you will discover. Link to comment
ForAnother Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I am more than you will discover. Interesting idea. Kinda simple... I liked it.. but there is something missing in it for me. Hmm I can't put a finger on it. Its like the rhyming got in your way a bit of telling your story... and the rhyming is too common. Keep in mind that you want to throw some 100 dollar rhymes in as well as some of those 1 dollar ones so that the reader doesn't get overwhelmed. All in all, interesting. ForAnother Link to comment
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