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[starlitewalker]

removed

[starlitewalker]

PS: as a side, this guy (whom i still love) seems to have a habit of wanting to keep girls he broke up with around as great friends? well me and two other. he hasn't had many relationships in life.

 

i find it odd.

anyone have insight into someone that makes this a habit. he is close friends with a couple of exes and i am certain he doesn't want them back (i was never jealous of his contact with them as they are far, far away)

then i notice the ones who broke up with him he refuses to speak to. like he won't be nice to someone who left him but he expects the ones he hurts to remain his friend. when he told me he just thinks he and i are better off as friends i first said no, that is too difficult for me and he got nearly mad telling me it's ridiculous and unfair to not be his friend.

 

???

[guy40az]

My problem was not telling her. It was she always asks me if I am dating or seeing anyone seriously. I really don't think it should be brought up. I just tell her

 

I don't ask about your personal life so don't ask about mine.

 

Of course well knowing the kids tell her I am seeing some one so I know she knows

[guy40az]

About your second post it really seems like the person that hurt the other person ( male or female) wants the one that got hurt to be friends.

 

Maybe they feel guilty and want to keep talking to you (I am not sure.) but I do know it is really hard after some one hurts you bad to be friends with them

 

so I told my ex would you be friends with someone that did that to you ??

[scaryperson]

I've stayed very close to my only ex, neither of us said, we should still be friends, but we're in the same social group, so we just gradually became friends.

 

I do fancy this guy still, so i think definitely 1 person has to have feelings to remain friends.

 

I did kiss this other guy, not to make my friend jealous though, although i admit when i heard that he had a face like thunder when this guy was hitting on me, i did take some joy out of that.

 

So i do agree about the making your ex jealous issue.

[whattheheck]

Let me ask you all this - If a person does not stay in contact with the ex, then how can he/she make the dumper jealous? any ideas? Or do I just hope I see her out, and hopefully I'll have a hot new girl with me?

[Clarabelle]

The ex might start to wonder why he or she hasn't heard from you and what you are doing. Generally what people imagine is much more potent than what happens in reality.

[trishcollins]

This is a tough one. I don't think anyone should be getting invovled anyone else, unless they are over the person they broke up with. I don't think it's fair to you or the new person, and in my experience does not influence you ex one way or the other. I have been the "transistional" person before and I can't honestly say, I wish the person had been in a position to move on -- as they might not have dumped me in the end.

 

As for playing "games" by trying to get your "ex" to be jealous or find out if you are dating again, I say that if you feel you are ready to date and meet new people, or want to get out and socialize (and let the person you are perhaps casually dating know your situation and where you stand), then I think you should. If you "ex" is going to come back, they will, and if not, they won't. If they do, you need to make a decision then.

 

But, IMHO, jumping into another relationship (even dating) for the wrong reasons does no one any good. Patience is what is necessary here. I didn't say you could go out and try to have fun, but be very clear with your "date" about your situation and how you feel. And remember, there is nothing worse than going on a date with someone who only talks about their "ex".

 

Anyway, who knows, it might lead to something where you forget your "ex" altogether, but it could just make you feel cheap and sad.