What do/did you argue with your ex/gf over (not just stupid)

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Keep it short and sweet:

 

1) What are the topics of arguments with present or past SOs (stupid or significant). Make a list if you want.

2) How often do you argue

3) How long has it lasted/how long did it last.

4) Any one line tips for conflict resolution?

 

For those that never argue:

 

Name some things you disagree about passionately, and tell me how you deal with that passionate dissagreement.

 

 

To get us started:

link removed

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

1)

- Is downloading music stealing

- Whether her friend is being lazy by taking the summer off after college.

- Whether going into debt for things like travel is good or bad.

- How to deal with my "boss".

 

2) Argued about once a month when wasn't going great.

3) Lasted 4.5 months but it that wasn't what broke us up.

4) LEARN TO LISTEN TO THE OTHER PRESON! Don't just wait for them to talk. DON'T EVER RAISE YOUR VOICE. A good "I love you" before and after wouldn't hurt. There are good/bad phrases you can say in a disagreement.

 

but I'm asking the questions so help me out here....

[xxbatmanxx]

we have never really argued

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

For those that never argue:

 

 

Actually better Idea: Let me play devils advocate here. The reason's many couples don't argue is because one part of the couple is subordante, or doesn't really have many strong well-formed opinions, or isn't passionate about anything.

 

But prove me wrong. Maybe you have found a good method of conflict resolution.

 

Name something you disagree about passionately, and tell me how you deal with that passionate dissagreement.

[bruind]

1) What are the topics of arguments with present or past SOs (stupid or significant). Make a list if you want.

- what to wear ( he doesnt want me to wear skirts, and tops that are a li'l sexy, unless im with him. so i take quite a while when choosing clothes, cause he still has to approve it)

- i dont admit my mstakes most of the time

 

2) How often do you argue

- often... like every other day or once every 2 days. ( ive noticed a pattern, after a few days of being happy and extra sweet to each other, we'll fight after, has always been like that)

 

3) How long has it lasted/how long did it last.

- a few mintues or hours. the shortest, 10 mintues, the longest, 6 hours

 

4) Any one line tips for conflict resolution?

- think first before you say anything, you may regret what you said afterwards.

- as much as possible, dont cry, cause it will only aggravate / worsen the situation

[OceanEyes]

The reason's many couples don't argue is because one part of the couple is subordante, or doesn't really have many strong well-formed opinions, or isn't passionate about anything.

 

I think this is true to some extent. For couples that never argue about anything, I'm guessing someone has to be holding back. After you spend enough time together, you're bound to learn things about them that you dislike - or even simply can't stand.

 

Most couples I know argue from time to time. Is that link that you provided actually account of the life you live with your girlfriend tiger? No offence intended here, but I find her extremely annoying and I've never even met her!! LOL

 

The funniest part was the 'eating two Kit-Kat pieces at a time', and that your girlfriend (or whoever) felt like you (or whoever) was doing it for the sole purpose of annoying her. I mean my god, my boyfriend thinks I'm anal when I ask him to pick his teeth in the washroom or somewhere else that I can't witness him actually pulling the food from his molars, looking at it, then putting it back into his mouth and eating it. I think it's just common courtesy to do something like this in private, lol!

 

Things my man and I argue about most

 

1. His sometimes very crude and rude sense of humour. He makes jokes sometimes that literally cause my jaw to drop. He can be exceptionally funny, but at times, also very offensive. For example: describing his bowel movements with astute detail, then saying, "come on I'm just kidding". At first it's funny. Even at second. But after a while you just want to pop him in the mouth.

 

Also, sometimes he says things in public that should be private and between us loud enough for our friends or strangers to hear. He knows I despise this, but can't stop doing it for some reason.

 

2. What I spend my money on. I am not always meticulous on how I spend my money, and can admit, do make purchases that I shouldn't. He was raised to be very "thrifty" and usually only spends money on what he needs. Chef Boyardi ravioli with some extra cheese on top can feed my man for a whole month until he switches to some other type of canned stew or feels like Kraft Dinner. He thinks I spend irresponsibly when I purchase vegetables and rice.

 

3. My male friends. He insists that he 'doesn't care' that I have more male friends than female friends, but when I actually hang out with them, there's always a price for me to pay after. He never acts jealous at the time and encourages me to see my friends, but can be very distant and aloof afterwards.

 

4. He is ridiculously picky when it comes to food and is almost impossible to cook for unless I make something that comes out of a can or a box (usually a pizza box). I love cooking, especially trying out new recipies with exotic ingredients, having nice wine, etc. When it comes to things like this, he's never open-minded. We can't ever order chinese food or anything 'cultural' that isn't American/ Canadian cuisine or burger joint fast food. So, sometimes when I cook he complains about the ingredients ("Oh my god was that an ONION??!!).

 

2) How often do you argue.

 

Used to be every damn day of the week, never failed. Lately, hardly ever. When either of us has a problem, we will usually politely disagree and discuss it now. We are more respectful and argue maybe once a week.

 

3) How long has it lasted/how long did it last.

 

Depends on what it's about and what kind of mood either of us are in. When I'm angry about something, I usually want to think about it or be alone. Just have some time to myself. Our arguments (pouting time included) can last anywhere from 5 minutes to all day.

 

4) Any one line tips for conflict resolution?

 

Fight fair. Never name-call or belittle your partner. Never ridicule.

 

Also if you're a woman, this is something I've learned about men in general: when you argue with a man about something he's done to upset you in some way, he will automatically feel like a failure in some way. Men generally do things for you, or take action to prove their love for you, whereas women will verbally express it and try to nuture you. If you make a man feel like his good deeds are unappreciated/ unnoticed, he will feel as if he has failed you as a man and that he isn't good enough. So with men, it's always good to say something like, "I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate what you do for me. I love you and everything that you do, but sometimes when you do/ say or don't do/ say [insert complaint], it makes me feel like [insert emotion].

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Is that link that you provided actually account of the life you live with your girlfriend tiger?

 

 

HA HA! No it's not me. Thank God!

[OceanEyes]

Oy, I've heard of people being so nit-picky, but I honestly believe that the woman might need help. Or to be with a guy who will put her in her place - and fast!