just30 Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 About 3 months ago I was going with this girl and things were great for about a month.. Then she decided to break it off.. She was defiantly the aggressor in the relationship. We would kiss and go on dates... hang out.. Take walks… You know all the normal stuff.. We really got along good.. Defiantly an attraction… Then one day she asked me to go to her brother's birthday party at her parent's house... I would have to meet her parents! Even though we were going out for a month we only saw each other 4 or 5 times.. I just didn't think I was ready to meet her hole family yet.. I kind of mentioned it to her and she didn't seem to mind at all.. She said that's fine... (I didn't sense she was overly thrilled but she didn't ask again) Two days later I call her on the phone and ask how the party was and talked for about 20 minutes about stuff.... (Everything seemed ok) Then the next day she calls and says she doesn't want to see me anymore. We talked about an hour but her mind was made up.. I really didn't try to talk her out of it, I was just trying to get a reason... Nothing really came out of it but she said I could still call her... Well since then I dated about 2 girls and I keep thinking about the girl 3 months ago... Do you think I should call her or is it too late? I don't want to be overly aggressive with her.. Do you really think she would cut ties with me over something so small maybe she was really embarrassed? We are both in our late 20's if that matters... Thanks Link to comment
HCI Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 Do you know anything about her background? Had she been in a relationship lately? Has she been badly hurt by someone? I think that maybe a person who has been hurt, sometimes "fishes" to get to know what you "feel". Maybe she felt that you were insecure about you and her and decide it was "safer" to break it off? I don´t know if you should call her, it´s up to you. However, since it´s been 3 months I doubt she is gonna call so if you think it´s worth it, give it a shot. But first, I suggest you read some posts from Beec. He among many other people here have good advice... Link to comment
just30 Posted August 14, 2004 Author Share Posted August 14, 2004 Talking with friends, there were 2 relationships and it sounded like she has always been dumped... One was like after 4 years.. They said she was devastated. It's been 2 years since she has seen anyone seriously... Not really sure why because she is thin young.... attractive.. Has a nice car, nice house no baggage at all..... I think she just came off a little strong at first and It takes me a bit to warm up.. After much thought and talking with friends I think she was thinking "he is going to hurt me just like the others" If that is the case I think I can patch things up.. What is your thought.... If you think it was something else.... I'm guessing I should just let it go... Link to comment
HCI Posted August 15, 2004 Share Posted August 15, 2004 This may sound a little strange but I´m almost certain that even if she infact broke up with you because of fear of getting hurt, you have to play a "game". With that I mean that you don´t tell her how much you miss her and so on and instead try to make her "open up" her emotions for you again, to the point where she wants you back. I recommend you that you search for posts made by Beec on this subject. The reason why I believe it´s impossible to tell her that you are sorry and misses her is that she probably liked you and felt bad about breaking up with you. To be able to do that she had to shut down her emotions for you. If she sees that you are still hurting and wanting her bad, she probably will feel guilty and it´s impossible to create a relationship with that kind of imbalance. Link to comment
just30 Posted August 16, 2004 Author Share Posted August 16, 2004 Ok... after reading here is what I'm thinking... Start off the call with just a friendly call... What have you been up to... You know current events.. Almost probe for a guy in her life?? If she doesn't disclose it should I ask her if she is seeing anyone? Next I'm thinking just ask her out to dinner one night if everything is sounding good.... (After making sure she is not seeing someone)??? If she says no or she is unsure.. Remind her of the good times we had... If she still is leaning to no I'm then thinking of saying O come on give me another chance.. I'm sure we can work things out...??? I'm really unsure at what point I should give up and cut my losses... Let me know what you all think... Link to comment
HCI Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 I really don´t think you should be TOO eager asking her if she is seeing anyone. She might see trough you. And you are right about reminding her what she is missing, but I don´t think that you should beg for her back! You have to do your part, and she has to do hers. Link to comment
just30 Posted August 16, 2004 Author Share Posted August 16, 2004 So what are you saying I sould do... I'm not looking for a frendship with this girl.. That never seems to workout.. Link to comment
HCI Posted August 17, 2004 Share Posted August 17, 2004 I am saying that you could pretend to be a friend. Not for two years, but for a little while. Give, pull back. Link to comment
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