still loving him but having to leave for the kids sake

[marionusnick]

me and my husband are currently separated because of all the arguing lies and just bullshit that my kids dont need to be around he is the father of both our children we have a five yr old and a two yr old i have left him this past friday and told him to move out i am getting legal seperation this week i love him dearly and im staying strong for my kids will my love for him go away? will i live with it forever?

[needtobealone]

Hello again marionusnick, I don't think the love will ever go away and that's fine. But you do have to move on to be happy. You should look into doing others things to keep your mind off of your husband. Just try not to think about it so much, if you have a hobbie take that up. Even just being around those you love can help so much. You did the right thing by leaving him so give yourself a hand for being strong. Good Luck!

[DaniChris]

Marion, you will live with the consequences of this forever. In my honest opinion, if there is any way in the world the two of you can work things out, go to therapy, whatever, I would do it. The life of a single mother is very, very difficult. I have three children and have been divorced seven years. I cannot tell you the heartache that continues to occur long afterwards. What if you eventually meet someone else and he has children and the two of you fall in love? What if that relationship ends too, for some unforeseeable reason, and here you are having to deal with the broken hearts of so many people.

 

If your husband is abusive, by all means you must leave, but if there is any hope, any love left, imho, try to work it out. Leaving is not a magic bullet and the repercussions for you and your children are far-reaching and long-lasting. I have left an abusive man, tried to start a life with three children, been in new relationships and, let me tell you, when those relationships end, when the children have to change schools because your fiancee broke up with you out of the blue or you re-marry and have spent years with the new husband's children - the heartache is unbelievable. So many more broken relationships and your children hurting through it all.