joe45 Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 man today was our last day-we had a final english had to write a 3 page essay on these short stories we read. it was a 2 hr exam. the gal that likes me left like 15 minutes before the exam was finished i was about to leave too, but couldn't b/c i had to double check my essay-the exam is worth a lot of marks. i thought she was going to write till the bitter end of the exam and then we talk about -which topic you picked for the final, or how did u feel about the exam or something and also buying or exchanging text books from her-she is taking 3 courses that i have to take in sept. just askin if i could buy em off her for a cheaper deal than the book store-ripoff.that way i could get her e mail addy or number. but is was too late. i thought if she really liked me she would wait for me outside the class room door to talk to me. maybe i should jsut drop it and go after another gal. i had a chance as we were getting into the classroom-she was walking down the hall way before the test but chickened out. she should have said good luck on the test or hi jeff to me or something i now and seem this gal glance in our regular classes at me and i think she likes me but i really wish she become more assertive u now talk to me or say hi or start a converation. guess i have to wait till sept if i even see her lol -but we won;t have any classes together as she took the courses this summer as i will take em in sept-i was late to registering and didn;t get all classes i want. Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 So much time at work and nothin' to do... Anyway, i thought I'd continue my trend of replying to all of joe45's new threads, so here it is. Buddy, I feel your pain. Your story brought back bittersweet memories of my 4th year of uni. There are times like this when you just have to say: "It's do or die time, baby". Seriously, this was the last day of class & you fully knew that you wouldn't have another crack at asking this girl out until next semester. In hindsight (which is always 20/20), it would have been far better to hook up with her a few weeks prior & suggest studying together as a way for you to get to know her. Leaving things to the last minute is always dangerous, but can pay off --> IF you actually make a move. Also what you said about the girl... that if she liked you then she would have said hi or waited around after the exam. Sorry to break it to you, but I used to think like that too and it just doesn't work that way. This girl could have been crazy for you for all we know. But look at the situation through her eyes: you never approached her, so she figured you weren't interested or just too shy. Men aren't mind-readers and the same applies for women. Sorry if it sounds like I'm harping on all the negatives in your story. "Shoulda, woulda, coulda"... I'm very well familiar with that, trust me. The upside of all this is no, don't wait around till September (wait a sec, that isn't even very far off from now) to meet girls & date. Unless you bump into this girl by chance, forget about her and get out and enjoy the summer. If you're single when school starts up & you have classes with your crush, then by all means take every effort to follow through on your intentions. If you get into another 'last minute' situation, just go for it. I remember waiting till the last day of class to get a girl's number. When she didn't show up, I felt totally crushed. But as I was leaving the lecture hall, I spotted one of her buddies who also takes the class. I thought what the hell, pounced and asked her to give me her friend's phone number. I had never spoken to her before. Luckily, she sort of recognized me from the class and not as a random freak and gave out the digits. No planning... no grace... no suave moves. But it came down to the wire and the bottom line was, if I didn't get the girl's number, nothing was gonna happen for me, period. Jeebus, is it time for me to go home yet? take care & thanks for listening to my rant, C. Link to comment
wickedbusa Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 I have experienced a lot of things in life and for so many years I would wait for things to happen. Well, I can tell you one thing I learned. YOU have to make that move if you really want someone. I have been attracted to this girl at school for the past year and last Friday I finally got the courage to approach her. And guess what? Her and I click like we have known each other out whole lives. I COULD have waited for her to approach me, but what if she didn't? My whole life has been all about what if's and only until recently did I stop waiting for things to happen. Step up to the plate and make that move. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't, take it from me . I used to be a really shy person, but since I got the courage in me to approach people, I have had more dates in the past few weeks thatn I did during high school. Link to comment
Santa Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 I too kind of know how you feel, and can relate to these posters, especialy the asking a friend for their number. OK so you missed out big time (I was in a similiar situation, yet luckily this girl stayed after school on the last day for some reason, so I got the chance and it was good), but there is still hope if you know a way to contact her, or you know someone that might be able to. Pehaps if you have a girl thats her friend or a friend of her friends or something you could ask her to get her number for you. Trust me, if you are determined enough theres always a way - believe me, one time I tried to get this girls number, but I found out she didnt have a phone and a friend of mine phoned this girl, and the girl i wanted to speak to just happened to be near this girl at the time... And thats also happened the other way around, i've bumped into a girl in town that a mate of mine wanted to ask out, so i phoned him up. Theres always a way! If there isn't just move on or wait till you go back in a few weeks. Link to comment
joe45 Posted August 11, 2004 Author Share Posted August 11, 2004 the thing is i did chat up with her before if u read some of my previous posts waiting outside of our class second last day-small talk but she was still quiet and shy she did show some interest when she asked me how i was doing in this class the class we were taking. do guys always have to be the assertive or aggressor. Link to comment
Santa Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 No they don't. I don't think I ever have been... Its always been girls making the first moves on me etc. Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 No, guys don't always have to be the aggressor... but it can be the difference between just taking whatever is 'given' to you and going after something you really want. Most of the girls who have been the aggressor to me either aren't a good fit or I'm not attracted to them. Best to get it in your mind that more often than not, the man will be expected to make the first move(s). Also, simply talking to the girl is not enough. There has to be intention behind your words and actions... you need to pull her into your world a little bit, whether it be asking her out for coffee, studying together, or whatever. Incidental meetings during class or in the hallway or nice, but you & her are still on neutral ground. Link to comment
wickedbusa Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Guys don't always have to be the aggressor, but will you be able to live with what doesn't happen? That is the question. If you are able to have the courage to say, "If something happens, great; if not, oh well," then more power to you. Personally, I think life is too short to just let things come to you. If you want something, go get it. Don't expect things to be handed to you. Link to comment
joe45 Posted August 12, 2004 Author Share Posted August 12, 2004 talking em is not good enough???? why not intention between words and actions please explain and tell me what to do and say. yea what happens if i ask for the cofee or study together and she says no then what woow how embarrassing. No, guys don't always have to be the aggressor... but it can be the difference between just taking whatever is 'given' to you and going after something you really want. Most of the girls who have been the aggressor to me either aren't a good fit or I'm not attracted to them. Best to get it in your mind that more often than not, the man will be expected to make the first move(s). Also, simply talking to the girl is not enough. There has to be intention behind your words and actions... you need to pull her into your world a little bit, whether it be asking her out for coffee, studying together, or whatever. Incidental meetings during class or in the hallway or nice, but you & her are still on neutral ground. Link to comment
wickedbusa Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Asking someone out always has some risk involved. You have to be prepared to be let down, but at the same time, you might be successful and get that date that you want. Just go in confident. Girls like it when a guy is confident. Link to comment
Santa Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 Its only embaressing because you think it will be. Trust me, if you ask her and she says no, I doubt anyone will laugh at you, or your world will collapse! Think about what happens when you ask a friend to do something - when they say no do you get embaressed? Link to comment
Ceema-k Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 I'm afraid that's the case, man. If you can get that figured out soon, then you'll be in way better shape than me when I was 22-23.... The thing is boys and girls talk all the time. Talk is necessary, but talk is also cheap. Think if this scenario: You like a girl. The girls likes you. You're too shy to ask the girl out. The girl is not aggressive or assertive enough to ask you out. You guys continue talking but since no one has tried moving the friendship to the next level, your relationships as casual friends sets in. After a while, the girl may think, gee, I guess this guy wasn't interested in me after all because he never asked me out. Sigh.... How do you ask a girl out? There is no one correct way. But I find that playing out realistic scenarios in my head helps to calm my nerves. After all, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. If you're afraid of embarrasment, simply think of the worst possible thing that could happen if she rejects you. Again, be realistic about it. You'll be so surprised at how good it feels to take that first step... no matter what happens, the feeling you get from knowing that you are being proactive about your dating situation beats out the gross, gnawing feelings of regret any day of the week. talking em is not good enough???? why not intention between words and actions please explain and tell me what to do and say. yea what happens if i ask for the cofee or study together and she says no then what woow how embarrassing. Link to comment
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