MissingSparkle Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 After attempting to get my ex back and failing miserably (with him telling me leave me alone i don't want to be with you), i went NC for my own good. Its been 2 weeks so far. Easter is this sunday and i have no bad feelings towards him so i was planning on sending him an easter basket with his favorite treats, because it was something that his mother use to do for him and since she died this day really affects him. i debated all week long about whether to send it or not. This past Tues he sends me an email saying "Still eating at me n hurt n bother over all of this" (yeah not the brightest bulb) at 8:00am, through email when he could of easily text. All of those lil details matter with my ex. Even though i read you should break NC unless they tell you what you want to hear I was feeling really confused about it because he told me he didn't want to be in contact with me. i was thinking did he send me that because he's bored at work, Is he actually trying to reach out to me to create a dialog, or is he just venting and doing it as impersonable as possible so that if i respond he'll take it as i'm just sitting around waiting for him. All this brings me to TODAY. i was on facebook and seen his new profile picture....with him sitting at a table with a girl...omg So i was really happy and proud of myself that i didn't send him the stupid Easter basket or respond to his email because he was just looking for an ego boost. Now i just feel so horrible is this normal? did i do the right thing, i'm so confused so i'm not so sure at the moment. Link to comment
dd Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Don't send him any baskets please, don't reply either, you're feelings are normal, you're grieving. Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 of course its normal, don't beat yourself up, either he has moved on, or the pic was just to * * * * with your head. move on you owe it to yourself! there's a lost art that has come out of practice lately, i have noticed it a lot not just among couples or dumpers, dumpees, but general society, learn it, use it, but never abuse it... its the art of "who gives a f---" do not be enthralled by things you cant control, open yourself up to the possibilities that were once hindered by commitment. people go around worrying so much about how they are going to get the things they want, they miss the opportunity to get it... he doesn't want you.... its a hard truth but its the reality, accept it, grieve for it, learn from it and use it to go forward. change your pics, add hobbies, show how much you hav opened up to new things, if he is anywhere near intelligent, he will stop and think.."wow we broke up and she is into all these things and doing all this stuff"... he may think he has hindered the abilities you have as a person, and start to question himself. Link to comment
Dezireey Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Trust me. DO NOT get in touch with him at all costs. And definitely don't send him gifts. I broke NC so many times (I thought he would come around after a month or two) that it's done permanent damage now. I pretty much can't stand my ex right now and would probably slap him if I saw him (long story) and I am pretty sure he feels the same about me. We had blazing rows which resulted in him telling me to not contact him again, which I invariably did and this pissed him off and then I got even angrier about how he treated me etc, etc so had a go at him blah, blah. It's all just not worth it, not worth the hassle and not worth drawing out the pain any longer than you have to. I think the recipe is very simple - if someone decides to end it with you and you are not happy about this decision, just nod your head with gritted teeth and stay FAR AWAY from them and have nothing to do with them. If they want you back, let them come get you.end of. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 21, 2011 Author Share Posted April 21, 2011 thanks dd, nsominia and dezireey. dezireey thats exactly what happened with my situation, i kept trying because i thought i could change things it only made things worst. Link to comment
Dezireey Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 thanks dd, nsominia and dezireey. dezireey thats exactly what happened with my situation, i kept trying because i thought i could change things it only made things worst. Sweetie, yes, just don't bother, the more you try the more they a) ignore you or b) get angry with you and this can actually incite anger in yourself because they are being so awful to you (at least that's how you can perceive it when you are emotional after a break up) and you may say awful things you will regret e.g texts or e-mails saying you love them or want them back can easily start manifesting into 'i hate you for what you've done to me' 'you are a bleep!! bleep!! person' etc. So stay well away for your own sanity or it's a rocky road to emotional destruction. Link to comment
MissingSparkle Posted April 22, 2011 Author Share Posted April 22, 2011 Sweetie, yes, just don't bother, the more you try the more they a) ignore you or b) get angry with you and this can actually incite anger in yourself because they are being so awful to you (at least that's how you can perceive it when you are emotional after a break up) and you may say awful things you will regret e.g texts or e-mails saying you love them or want them back can easily start manifesting into 'i hate you for what you've done to me' 'you are a bleep!! bleep!! person' etc. So stay well away for your own sanity or it's a rocky road to emotional destruction. lmao that all actually happened Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Good call on deciding not to sent that Easter basket. Next step: no more facebook peeping. It's too emotionally charged. Go ahead and block or delete him to make it easier on yourself. Hang in there. Link to comment
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