i have a huge problem trusting too heavily

[im_the_undead]

i always trust people because i feel like i have no reason not to, then suddenly they do something horribly shady. after that, i obviously lose trust and walk away from the friendship as cleanly as possibly (usually), but how to prevent the cycle from repeating??? i have no idea.

i'd really like to have that 6th sense that rings an alarm in your head and warns you about a certain person, my mom and boyfriend have that gift -.-

 

at times, not only have i been emotionally betrayed, but i've had boyfriends stolen under my nose (which only bothers me at the moment, other than that owell), i've been USED to almost an extreme, and even once my belongings kept disappearing. (this ranging from the time i was in elementary school til now)

Yeah, apparently i have the worst choice of aquaintences or "friends".

 

Everytime i make a new friend i don't want to be too judgemental or parinoid that everyone is evil just because i've had bad experiences with friendships in the past. i like to start on a clean slate, but honestly the list of betrayal just keeps getting longer and longer everyday. are there no honest/dependable people left in the world???

throughout my friendships, i've been too emotionally attatched to these frienemies and sacrificed a lot of time, care, and effort... then for it to just blow up in my face out of nowhere, it's emotionally exahusting! and yes, i get hurt deeply by these things.

I'm starting to believe i have a real problem.. maybe it's even my own fault i'm getting betrayed so often.

 

my mom and bf always nag me and say i'm dumb for even counting on people or giving so much truth.. and mostly all of my "friends" tell me i need to learn to be a hypocrite just as everyone else is

 

i don't even know where this post is going anymore

i'm just pissed off lol why can't people just be normal? everyone has to be so coniving

i don't have much, why do they always try to take what isn't even there](*,)

[Jd1983]

I know what you feel like about being betrayed by friends. I've lost touch with 3 of my close friends that I have known for over a decade. It's sad sometimes to see how they can turn out and betray you. Unfortunately, that's life sometimes.

 

When it comes down to it, sometimes you have to be careful who you trust because you never know when they will betray you. Other times, people will say trust no one, but yourself.

[im_the_undead]

tell me about it!

it's just hard to accept most of always lol

and the majority of the time, they turn the tables and want to blame me for the things they've done against me... as if my being justifies their actions

 

 

like last night i found out a very trusted friend of mine was being spiteful, making rumors things up, and trying to make another friend angry at me. when truth came out, i asked her "why would you do that?" and then she cussed me out and implied that i was crazy and didn't know what i was talking about.

after the person she was "snitching" to admitted to her that everyone already knew what she had said, suddenly she wants to talk with me.

 

idk what to do, i don't want to hear it

but she is a REALLY BIG GIRL and is extreamly aggressive. I'm not going to lie, i'm a little scared. after being her friend for a good 5 years, i've seen the type of person she can be

 

 

sadly, that's only one of the many examples i have -.-

[Jd1983]

Honestly, I think it's best that you stop talking to her.

 

With friends like that who needs enemies? Why worry about her being aggressive? Just let her know that you don't appreciate what she did, especially since you've been close friends with her for so long.

 

"It takes years to build trust, and only seconds to destroy it".

 

Just to make you feel better - my best friend of over a decade started dating my ex bf after we broke up. Her fiance was the one who introduced us and she was cheating on her fiance to be with him. Several years later, she is still with him.

[Hearts]

Unfortunately it's hard to separate the bad apples from good ones these days, that's why don't get attached to anyone easily, and it's always good to get simple precautions when you involve with others, either they are good or evil and never get hard feeling over betrayers or bad friends because it's better that they showed their true color otherwise they would be still remaining at your side and you would have no idea what kind of a person you are with. Eventually a good person will be understanding and will understand your reasons to be cautious.

[mutiny]

My boyfriend is the exact same way, lol. He's very sociable and friendly, and he has such a big heart he always wants to help out in any way he possibly can when someone he knows is in trouble. This has often led to many of his "friends" taking complete advantage of him, and when he gets hurt by it I can tell he feels horrible about it. I can usually tell when a buddy of his is gonna use him, but I always have to be so careful about what to say to him about it because I don't want to hurt his feelings. And he's so quick to forgive too. Almost all of his friends have hurt or used him to some degree and he'll be moody about for some time, and then act as if it never happened. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Don't beat yourself up over it. I actually find it kind of endearing, and sometimes I wish I was more like him. I can be more standoffish and somewhat judgmental at times, and I wish I wasn't. I'm not very assertive with people, but I'm not very quick to forgive when I've been hurt either. Be glad that you have such an open heart, everyone deserves a fair chance!

[im_the_undead]

like Jd said, who needs enemies when you have friends like that? i honestly don't plan on befriending or trusting her again, that's one stab in the back too many, and ofcourse the girl is fully aware of all the other times i've been bullied and hurt by other people i cared about.... so i know if i gave her another chance i'd be setting myself up again. Countless times, her brother warned me about what a "horrible person" she is, but i always assumed he was exagerating becuase siblings don't usually get along. I understand what he means now.

The irony is that with my other best friends... before they betrayed me, their family members also told me not to become attatched to them and to be careful.

I never listen

 

SMH -.-

 

 

anyway, in the end i always face a case of bullying. Last time, my ex bf's bullied me and humiliated me for a good year, i still feel uncomfortable when i see them and now i feel this one is up to the same game... i really don't have a clue what i should do, i'm too old to still be getting threatend this way!