pathetic.

[EmperorDude1]

i was up to 95 mph in the car. i could have hit a hollyhock bush and done enough damage to do what i wanted, never mind my plan to hit a wall or drive off a bridge. but nooooope. pussied out, again. i hate myself. either get the balls to end or do something else, but stop failing all the time.

[Dtar]

I think you are smart not to have done it. What if it doesn't work? That's a life of suffering. I did this, albeit at 50mph in a schizophrenic state. I don't mind if you have a laugh at that, I was suffering delusions. At that speed, it did not one bit of damage to me, cept I had to go to a psychiatric unit for 4 weeks.

 

I cannot say I have done my research, but from personal experience, on impact, it feels like slow motion. The car just bounces back. I'd imagine, even at faster speeds, the chance that it will work would be very low, and the chances of suffering a lifetime of pain would be dramatic, the higher the speed.

 

Which gets to the issue, why at all? I admit I'm in grief right now from just hearing about someone committed suicide 7 years ago, but why? Why not shake the system up a bit? Why not live a new life, do something you haven't before? How bout tryin to be a different person, maybe volunteer in something, or gain a new vice in whatever you want, as long as it is legal? Whatever will give you the time and space to experiment, and be a different person, or to find that part of you that you've been missing, and achieve tiny steps of success, in the little but most important things?

 

What is failure? What really defines success?

 

I'm sorry I don't have much I can say, cause I just don't know what to say. I think you succeeded when you tried driving on, so you could buy time that could help bring better perspective.

 

If you can, please talk to someone, anyone, eg. a hotline. It may give you perspective.

[SicFounder]

Why do you want to commit suicide? What has driven you to resort to such a thought?