Help

[LILI]

Well, my problem is that ive been with my boyfriend for about a year and 4 months, and i love him and well he loves me too. The big problem is that he is 19 and im to be 20 next month, and well he is still curious. He looks at girls and well all that kind of stuff, and im jelaous and it angries me. On top of all, he is starting to exercise and lose weight dieting, and i know why, because he wants to be noticed by other girls. I know this for a fact because once he broke up with me and he said "Everytime i run i wanna lose weight so all those girls want me and i can tell them no because im with you", well, im afraid once they do notice him he is not gonna say no. He works an hour and a half away form here, and he lives there for now, we see each other on the weekends, and sometimes he stays here, but now hes gonna have to work a lot because he needs money at least for the next 2 months before we star school. I tell him i think he is ok the way he is, and seriously i do, i dont think he needs to lose anything, bus he says that i should respect his desicion. Well, im just worried, because weve had conversations, and he is very attracted to other women, he loves me, but he still likes other people, he likes to look a lot. Sometimes even when hes with me. About 2 months ago we were going to break up because he was going to move (an hour away) and i wanted a long distance relationship but he didnt, and after crying and crying he decided he wanted to stay and study for another semester down here cuz it is a better school. He still calls me a lot, and we are good together, but sometimes i feel as if he wished he had something different, i think he wishes he was single again, and he could flirt and have fun with different girls. My question is how do i get him intereted in me again?? Like before... he used to love me a lot. I screwed up by being really jelaous, but he has friend so far away from here i dont know what he does. I dont know if i should start getting away a little and not calling him and not doing so many things for him. I mean i do a lot for him, i paid $400 to go meet his dad in Ohio, i go visit him all the time at his house no matter how far it is, and everytime we dont get to see each other im the one whos sad, but he doesnt give a sh%t, at least thats how it feels. How do i make him know that he could lose me, and that im not gonna be here forever, i wish i could just make him want me like before. If anybody has any advice please post.

Also, i wanna know why men always have to look at other women like that, sexually?, does it happen to all men?, no matter how beautiful their girl is, they always wanna look and stare, one guy said "it doesnt have to be better, it has to be different", well it this is true, how come its not the same for women?? or for me?? im perfectly fine with staying with him for the rest of my life, even though i know im only 19, i dont need anybody else....why does he make me feel like he eventually will??

HELP!!!!

[k33]

Hey,

He sounds like he is being a bit of a jerk. Have you talked to him about your feelings without anger? Yelling never works, as I know all too well, you might want to have a heart to heart with him, no crying yelling just tell him how you are feeling.

 

In my experience, everyone looks (girls too) and everyone loves to get attention from attractive folks. It doesn't necessarily mean he will cheat. He might just be feeling bad about himself and wanting to improve. You can't stop him from cheating if that's what he wants.

 

To get him more interested in you, be a little less available, and when you do see him look gorgeous in an understated way. Not trashy, classy. A nicely cut dress that shows off your best features, little extra time with the hair and makeup. But if you don't wear make up normally, don't make up too much... you know what I mean. Be warm and friendly and don't nag at him. Let him come to you, and I think he will.

 

Hope this helps.

[LILI]

Damn, hehe, i didnt think someone would take time to read all this. Well i do nag at him a lot, and i am very jelaous, but i just wish he loved me and felt like i do. And if i think about it , its gonna get worse, like when he turns 21, hes gonna start wanting to go out and stuff, and hell meet someone attractive, and then ill diiiiiE!! Thanks for the tip, i will try and see how that works, and now that you make me tthink about it, i am too available, heck, i call him every 2 hours when we are apart, kinda pathetic uh?? hehe, thanks for your help =).

[k33]

don't call every two hours!!! Every two days maybe is better!!!! Oh my. Hide your phone girl! I leave mine in the car when I think I am going to call too much! And park far from the house!!

 

He loves you, try not to be jealous... hard, I have some of the green eyed monster in me too. Don't do a self fullfilling prophecy... if you keep telling him he will cheat, he might. Take ten deep breaths before you say anything like that, or nag...then bite your tongue. (unless it is something important... let the little stuff go.)

 

I bet you are plenty gorgeous and he loves you, he just likes the attention. we all do. But you will get less gorgeous to him if you are jealous all the time. trust me on this one. Try not to let him doing other things threaten you, again easy for me to say, I've been guilty of it myself. If you give him some space... I am not saying don't talk to him, I think that stuff is a little goofy...he'll be by your side more than you want him to!

 

Let me know what happens...

[LILI]

Hey hehe, yeah every 2 hours, but he calls me too!! No way, i cant not talk to him for 2 days, ahaha omg, he would call me, we are like really attached.... =) ...but i mean, he needs his privacy too ... , i just fell for him like too much, and i owuld like him to like me like that too you know. Like he is my best friend, my boyfriend, my everything, and he cant do that for me, because he is too young, and he already has a best friend who im jelaous of =( also. I dont know, he is working at the moment away from me, so i dont see him during the week, only weekends, so this time apart has given me time to think, and like take care of myself more. To be more interested in other things rather than him, but i wish i could get him more interested in me....