I need to get OUT of this HOUSE!!

[Sovereign]

So I lost my job and if you read my other post, im driving myself crazy and my Girlfriends as well. Im not cleaning up after myself, she is always yelling at me, and im starting to get crazy with the kids, one month old and a 6 year old. The newborn is obviously mine, and her 6 year old iv been a father figure for the past 2 years. She is starting to drive me nuts with the whole "pay attention to me." which is FINE, i understand the new changed. Im moving in 2 weeks and I cant get a job for just 1 or 2 weeks to occupy my time. Im a workaholic so i need to work! There is nothing for me to do outside of Pack toys and take care of the screaming kids. ontop of that im always doing EVERYTHING wrong. How do i just excuse myself just for a few hours. I wanted to play gold with a buddy (i have no idea how to play) just to leave the house and she told me you dont have to go golfing you have other things to do. I just want to be alone for like 2 or 3 hours. not at 1am in the morning not tip toeing around the house.

[SheBrokeMe]

Lick your hand, raise it, and say "This is strong enough for a man but made for a woman". Then say something like "Im going golfing."

 

Haha just kidding.

 

But seriously, put your foot down. Your human, you need some space. Its normal. Just tell her your going out for a bit.

 

..Dont neglect all your fatherly duties. But go have some fun man, its required.

[sidehop]

How often are you trying to get out of the house? You said you're a workaholic. With that and trying to go out, is your g/f also getting the kind of space to herself that she needs? Otherwise it wouldn't be fair to her or the kids.

[Sovereign]

i lost my job so iv been sitting home for a week straight unless we drive out together and get her kid from camp or go to the store to buy food. I never want to go "out" like to a bar i just want to play a video game or just be alone.

[TearsofFate]

Well if your not cleaning up after yourself and your GF is taking care of the kids ...she's probably yelling at you because you are like taking care of one extra kid.

 

You wrote that you are just sitting inside and you don't like doing anything unless it's video games. You sound like a kid. I'm not trying to be rude (I like video games too) but I'm trying to put this into your gf's prespective.

 

Pick up your messes. Don't leave them lying around. I know it sucks losing a job, but it's time like this you gotta be your strongest. What your doing now is counter productive to what you want. Peeing off your gf isn't going to help.

 

If you want time to yourself to play games you got to at least clean up after yourself and do some minor job hunting. Like even handing out one resume. Then it's your right to sit down and play.

[Sovereign]

I have a job already we are moving to it Aug 14th in the mean time tho is the trouble

[sidehop]

It comes as part of a family Sovereign, your own personal life aka being-alone becomes a back burner. Otherwise someone in the family will get neglected. They should be your focus as much as it's important for you to have time for yourself once in awhile. If things are picked up constantly and your g/f is feeling less overwhelmed, less stress, more time for each other including the children and probably more free time by end of the time.

 

You just need to find that balance that works with your family.

[Sovereign]

i know it is as simple as picking up my stuff and making her feel less overwhelmed but "how" do i overcome the immaturity? is there steps i can practice or is it something i just wake up one day and decide that i want to take control

[sidehop]

Make it a routine but also know that it helps her (and family as a whole) and how it makes you and her feel. I'm sure she wouldn't mind so much you having some time for yourself if the house is being picked up and she doesn't feel so overwhelmed everyday.

 

Once you start working again and right after you come home, you can ask if there's anything she needs help with. I'm sure there are things like dishes, vacuuming and picking up the house in general that you could do. Certain tasks you can assign yourself and commit to it everyday.

[Sovereign]

i totally give up on doing any of that and my work hours are 12pm-10pm so work ours are when i wont see her...which is probibly better