I have no ambitions

[Sludgephactory]

I feel like I have no ambitions in life. I dropped out of school and got my GED, but since then I haven't done a thing. I'm unemployed and have never worked. I've thought about going to college, but I know it's not for me. I couldn't handle high school, so I know I wouldn't be able to keep up with college.

 

I don't know what to do with my life. The only two career choices I'd really enjoy would be as a guitarist or an author, but I feel like those careers are too far fetched. I mean, I enjoy writing and people have told me that I write well, but I feel like the chances of me actually publishing a book are slim to none. As for guitar, I'm not exceptional or anything but it's something I really enjoy and it's one of the only things in my life that I've worked hard at to get better. Becoming a guitarist as a career is even more far fetched than becoming an author though. I can't think of any other careers I would enjoy doing.

 

(sorry for the double thread post, I couldn't figure out how to delete one of them)

[Speranza]

Perhaps you need to do two things for now.

1) Volunteer - in lots of different capacities if you want - to stop yourself becoming depressed (are you, do you think? If so, getting out and doing something - ANYthing will help. Remember a LOT of people are in the same boat).

2) Write. Attend daytime/evening classes (probably free if you are unemployed), I go to a class where there is a huge range of people - some barely literate but who feel they have stories to tell, through to students and graduates. We all learn from each other.

 

If you enjoy writing, try submitting little pieces to magazines (you can find out online where to send them). How about an article on how it feels to be unemployed, or a series on how to play the guitar?

 

Writing - you have to do it for the love of it IMHO. I've just had the second rejection letter for my first novel but I have loved writing it so much that publishing would be the icing on the cake. I know in any case that it would be unlikely to bring me enough money to be my career. On the other hand, I've had a poem published in an anthology and that felt great. But avoid anything where they ask you to pay to be in a book! If you are good enough, people will eventually want your work. There is a HUGE volume of people writing, but that doesn't mean YOU should give up! Practise, practise, praactise.

 

If you like kids, maybe ask if a local school can use your musical talents sometime...

 

Think out of the box, and enjoy being YOU... good luck!

[ledi]

Well, lol, some people study english lit and study music. Why don't you try that?

 

I think you should keep writing, a lot of cities and councils give you grants if you have a good idea. Busk in the street, or try and get some small gigs in clubs. It's not a fantasy life... i know a few people that live by their pen/ guitar.

 

I'm studying english and I will probably never buy a house, own a car in my life, but a one bedroom flat where I can write is all I need.

[Sludgephactory]

Well, another big thing holding me back is that I'm a really shy person, so playing in front of an audience would be difficult for me. Also, I don't know if I would be able to handle the rejection if I submitted my writing somewhere. And, yes, I am very depressed. I feel like a generic high school drop out. I'm not proud of it, but I also smoke pot very often. I know that probably isn't helping with my motivation any, but I feel dependent on it just to get through the day. That's another thing that's stopped me from going out and applying at places, most places have drug screening before they hire you.

 

Furthermore, I only live with my disabled/mentally ill mother who gets an SSI check every month. She basically sleeps all day and hasn't been much of a mother to me for years. I feel like I would have a lot more motivation to quit pot and find a job if I had a parent pushing me.