Stinkweed Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I have a post: link removed It's very long, but I seriously need to do something about it. My goal was to talk to her either yesterday, or today, but I didn't see her. Alright, I know I blew it with the stupid letter, but I wanted very badly to make it up. I was going to follow yeayeayea's advice, but I didn't see her. It's too late to do that now. What should I do now? I have her phone #, but I will not call her just yet, because of how she might react (Maybe she will find my interest in her good, or she may see me as a stalker). I seriously don't know what to do. I have a good friend that knows her well, and he says he will try to help me out (even though he also says it is hard). I shouldn't have given her the stupid letter. But what if he can't? Can anyone help me? Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 ok why wont you call her. if she likes you she'll see it as sweet, if she doesnt she'llprobably still think its sweet did she give you her number or did you look it up or get it from a friend. i understand how she'll feel i just go asked out on AIM by someone who i didnt know had my screename she said she got it off my webstie but i didnt know she had that either. it is a little odd but if she does like you it wont matter.uhm hope that helps -stitches Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 Yeah, but the problem is that I doubt she will see it as sweet. She is probably freaked out by the letter. I didn't get her phone number from her. Sometimes I think there is a chance things could work that way. But I am not sure. I wouldn't want her to think I'm a stalker. There has to be something else. I will call her as a last resort. But what should I say? Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 ok well call whoever gave you the number and see if you can all hang out sometime and see if shee give your her number herself. would that work -stitches Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 I didn't get the number from anyone. I looked in the student directory. But I could try to do that with a friend I have that knows her very well. Is there any way I can hang out only with her? Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 well to hang out with just her you could take a chance and call her or you can hang out with her and a friend and gett her to give you her number then you can call and ask her to hang out with just you -stitches Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 Alright, I'll do that. I just need to wait for my friend to contact me... I don't think he will forget. Link to comment
Eh Im Canadian Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 there is an alternative that you could try. It might seem really stupid, and it probably is, but you could go up to her door with a rose and give it to her! I know, I know it isn't a very good idea, but when you are out of options, theres always that one left! Also, whats wrong with calling someone up from the student directory? I do that all the time! Well, try something at least, it is all up to you. Don't just keep wussing out over the summer. Go to this site: link removed and go to the love / relationships part. Go to the wusses guide part. It is the best advice I have ever found for this type of thing. Good Luck. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 15, 2004 Author Share Posted June 15, 2004 It's not because I'm a wuss. It's because we are talking about serious stuff. Maybe that rose thing works in movies. But in this case, she could think I'm stalking her. Besides, I don't know where she lives, and doubt she would even open the door. In fact, my letter probably freaked her out so much that she might even call the police. I will do that as a last resort. More ideas anyone? Link to comment
Eh Im Canadian Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Ok well, just listen to me. go to getschooled and see what they say about stalking. I'm serious, they have the coolest guide I have evr seen. And no offense to you, but it sounds like you are being a wuss. Girls are people just like guys are. I read your original post from the link you had, but not the 19 other pages, so if you said something different in there I am sorry. Your letter probably di freak her out a little, but then again, she may have thought it was cute. Just treat her how you would treat another person. Remember it isn't stalking, its just gathering information. I am gonna give you the exact link to look at it applies to you I think. link removed Ok Good Luck. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 Look, I wish it was just me being a wuss. But you probably don't know all the facts. I bet you didn't read the part where I wrote I'm moving. Did you? Now, you will say I should forget about it. There is nothing I can do, alright? I don't think there is anything you can do to help me. I really appreciate your effort, though. Thanks. Link to comment
Eh Im Canadian Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Well, It all depends on how far away you are moving? Is it to a different country? Do you actually love this girl? Those are the things that matter. You are absolutely right I didn't read the part about you moving. Are you just trying to go for a summer fling or something? I guess that just seems kind of selfsih to me. But then again, if you truly love her, then there is no barrier that can get in your way. Of course you can't really love her yet because you don't even know her. So go up to her and talk to her. Maybe you will like each other? Hey whats the worst thing that could happen? Well besides being slapped and rejected? Just kidding. If this girl is mature even the slightest bit, then she will probably talk to you, despite the fact that she might think you are kind of weird. Hey you still could talk to her over the internet if you wanted to. The possibilities are endless. But in order for anything to happen, you have to go and do it. Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Ya know no offense Dead Eyes but I'm gonna be honest here. Yea you messed up with the letter and honestly man I WOULD NOT CALL A GIRL IF SHE DIDN'T GIVE YOU THE NUMBER HERSELF. Looking her up on the directory and calling her does seem a bit stalkerish (not saying you are but she'd most likely take it that way) and could hurt things. I knew someone in college who looked up a girls IM name by her school email address and contact her (when I knew she clearly had no interest in the guy). Needless to say she was upset and told him off in public. Hate to be harsh Dead Eyes but you may have to soak up your loss, go back to the drawing board (work out, improve your coolness, attmept to become a jerk since girls like that) and remerge from the shadows once you get to college since you have a clean slate. Don't blow it like I did in college. There's still some hope for you yet. However, I'll be honest if you don't get anywhere in college then expect to be a loser like me for the rest of your life. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I'm moving to another state. Actually, from PA to FL, and it will probably be for either a year, of forever (It depends. It's because of my father's job. He may get it done in less than a year. But even then, if I don't say I want to come back, we won't). I just wish I could mean something to her. You know, have a good solid reason to come back. I do like her very much. She is unique, and everything I know about her I like. In fact, the more I find out, the more I like. I won't say more, because everyone will think I'm obsessing. But that's not true. The truth is that I still feel there is hope, no matter what everyone says. And I don't think I can even forgive myself for failing so miserably. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I'll always blow it. It's in my nature. I'm sort of one of those so called "nice guys". You know, shy, understanding, considerate and kind of sensitive. I just am not in the mood to change. And yeah, I do know I blew it big time with the stupid letter. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I just can't do anything right now. I'm just hoping that my friend comes up with an idea, or something. If not, then there is nothing I can do. I hate feeling so helpless, but there is really nothing I can do. And I do know that if anything between her and me was meant to be, for my part, it would survive any distance, and I would do my best to keep it that way (after all, it wouldn't be forever). Link to comment
Caldus Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Just know that you might have to just move on and find someone else. And like someone else said, make sure you learn from your mistakes for future attempts. I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment
Eh Im Canadian Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Dead Eyes, you can always do something. You are never really helpless. You will always have a choice in the matter, and I am sad to see that you have chosen the Path of Wussieness. Just like the only product of hate is more hate, the only product of wussieness is more wussieness. Unless you change and break the cycle, you will never become who you want to be.Its like depression only so .... wussy! Sorry I am being kind of mean. What you really need to do is build your self-esteem, and I am definitely not helping with that. You have to feel good about yourself. How will you know if the letter was a mistake if you never ask her about it? I made a mistake like this one a long time ago, and I am still paying for it with guilt. What could have happened didn't, and that makes me very sad. Whats kind of ironic is that you are moving away from a year, and it has been exactly one year since my big screw up! So it has taken me an entire year to cast off my chains of stupidity and decide to do the right thing. That was a bad metaphor, but you know what I mean. So don't do what I did. You would have to live with the thought of what might have been if you had only done something different. Ahh, now because Caldus has said my new ending phrase I have to think up something different. How 'bout, "Hope you make the right decision?". Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 See, Eh? Im Canadian, Now we're talking. That's exactly what I don't want to happen. The guilt... Ok, maybe I don't necessarily want to start dating her (although I do, but I have to consider that I'm moving), but I would like to at least be her friend, and keep in touch. Maybe we could hang out as friends some time. So, what can I do so something like that happens? Should I call her and tell her that I'm sorry for the letter? Of course, I would tell her the truth about why I got her phone number, which is b/c I really wanted to talk to her and didn't see her at school. Look, if I don't make a move, I will probably never hear from her again, and will always wonder. I know I'm not going to be her bf, but at least her friend... That would mean a lot. So, what should I do? I want her SN and to get to know her. Maybe we could hang out as friends one of these days. Is that being selfish? Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I think Eh? I'm Canadian has the right idea... A year will pass, and I will not have fogotten this screw up. I don't want that to happen. Should I call her? I am so tempted to do it, but I don't know how she might react, or if she will even pick up the phone after she knows who it is (I don't think she is that freaked out, or angry). So, ne ideas? Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 Whoops, sorry. I didn't want to post this... Link to comment
abcd1234 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Dont keep bothering yourself about the letter. Everybody makes mistakes like this, they are OK to do as long as you learn from them. Do not call her with the number that you got of the sudent directory, you have to get it from her so that she expects a call. If you were to call her she may take insult that you didnt actually ask her and then went and found another way to get it. But that really depends on the kind of person she is. Wait for your friend to see if he can help you out by introducing you in some way. If nothing comes of that then you will have to find a way to introduce yourself and get her interested in you. How long have you got before you move? The rest of this post will probably assume that you have a while. I do have one objective opinion of this whole situation whith you moving away: Do you really want to get closely attached to her in the knowledge that you would have to split up when you leave? It would hurt both of you. Im sure that when you move, you will find someone in your new area who you like just as much and who you will not make any mistakes with when approaching her. You would also be safe in the knowledge that you could be together for a long time. Anyhow, back to the situation at hand. As i said above, wait to see if your friend can do anything and if not then just find out from him where she is most likely to be hanging out and then head over there (possibly with a friend) so that she will notice you. Make it look like you are genuinely surprised for her to be there and say something like: "Hey, iv never really had a chance to introduce myself at school. I hope the letter didnt offend you, i was just uneasy about approaching you with your friends around before" I hope this is ok, please tell me about any problems with this so that i can help more. abcd1234 Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I do have one objective opinion of this whole situation whith you moving away: Do you really want to get closely attached to her in the knowledge that you would have to split up when you leave? It would hurt both of you. Look, I just want to keep in touch with her. I don't have much time left. I'll be moving early next week. Besides the fact that it would have to be a miracle for something really important that would make her sad about my parting to happen in such a short period of time, I know I can't start dating her, because I'm moving. But I want to come back... A year from now, I may be able to. But in the meantime, I want to keep in touch. Maybe we could even hang out as friends one of these days. But that's about it... Link to comment
abcd1234 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 When you get her email address send her an email saying that you just wanted to keep in contact with people back there even though you never actually knew her that well. I think it would be better to email than to call, its just a matter of getting the address in time. Is it listed in the student database? Does anyone know it who will give it to you? Has your friend got it for you? abcd1234 Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 ok this may not be the best advice im not thinking clearly but i think you should talk to her and tell her your moving and your gonna miss her and you dont want to lose contact with her give her your number and get hers and the E mail thing too you should do that i think it'd be ok if you called her and just say " sorry but you know im moving and i really dont want to lose contact im gonna miss you" i think she'd be cool about it. you dont have to call if you dont want to but please talk to her dont miss your chance. E mial her or something -stitches Link to comment
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