Male friends

[givinggirl]

I have these two male friends, who live very close to me. The thing is they are weird about hanging out with me. If the two of them are hanging out, they won't invite me to hang out with them. Neither of them will hang out with me one on one either. The only time they hang out with me is when me and another friend are hanging out and I invite them, but they will only come if both of them can come...or if there is a party, they will hang out with me, just the 3 of us afterwards. I don't understand why they are so weird about it. I mean, we all have fun when we hang out. What is wrong with 3 single people hanging out together? Why does there always have to be a 4th?

[turnera]

Because they understand that both of them feel an attraction to you, and have decided, for whatever reason, not to pursue it. Probably so as not to mess up their friendship.

 

IMO, honesty is the best policy. Sit them down together, and let them know what you have observed. Ask them what they want YOU to do?

[givinggirl]

I don't think this is the case, one of them, maybe, but definitely not the other one. Let's say it is the case. If they both decided to not pursue anything, then why can't we all hang out? I still don't understand it. I really feel like its because I'm a girl and it's taboo or something.

[turnera]

Why don't you just ask them?

[givinggirl]

Why don't you just ask them?

 

If they don't want to hang out for whatever reason, I don't want them to do it just because I brought it up and asked. I want them to hang out with me because they want to.

[turnera]

If you just ask them, you may learn their reason. And if it's a crazy reason, you can set the record straight. Who knows? Maybe one of them heard a rumor that you turn psycho when two guys are in the room or something. You really have no idea what they're thinking, so just ask them. Asking is NOT the same as telling them you want them to come over together - it's just asking.