it feels so hopeless

[saku]

i've written here before about this girl i like in my class. it's like this: i was about to give her this note i wrote after class but i couldn't go up to her. the whole time i was shaking and felt kinda sick. but that wasn't what stopped me from going thru with it. there's i couldn't go up to her because she was talking to this guy in class. i said this before...i'm black(sorry if i don't belong here) and she's........i think mixed black and white. don't get me wrong, i'm not a racist or nothin but i'm afraid she may not like me cause i'm black. for me love is hard to find. i am 21 and i'm afraid i'm past my peak. i've been rejected alot and rarely liked by anyone. that's why i'm so scared about this one. i'm sorry to sound like i'm whining over nothing and i'm sure you all have problems that are diffrent from mine but for me this problem is a great challenge in my life...always has been. i know i still want to give her this note asking if we can talk and all. the note isn't weird or nothing it's the best i can do being a little shy and all. i try to be a good person and i'm not soemkind of shallow jerk which sucks cause i always see shallow jerks find love and take it for granted. anyway i guess that's it. i'm sorry to have written so much but i hope someone can maybe realte or understand what i'm going thru. bye for now

[SwingFox]

Hello Saku,

 

First of all, I'd like to twist your mind entirely. Everyone is welcome and invited to post to this board, no matter wether your black, red, white or purple.

 

Saku, I am very worried over everything that you wrote in your mail. I suggest that you start to talk to this girl anyways... what do you have to loose anyways? I understand that you have been rejected a lot of times. The reason behind that, might be because you think so negative about things. My suggestion thereforeeeeeee is that you start to see things from the bright side of life... cheer up and chin up!! People are attracted to those that are being positive minded. That's what I would like to suggets you really... be positive and try to smile ... everything will work better for you then.

 

I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[simulacra]

I think I understand where you're coming from. It's really hard, when you're a shy person, to tell someone you like her. The letter/note giving approach is a small step forward. It is the best you can do at this point. So you should take things slowly and grow at your own pace. I used to be like you somewhat. It's (relatively) easier to give her a letter than to ask her straight out in person. You can anticipate the rejection, but you won't face it in front of her (or other people). It's a good start.

 

I hope you use this opportunity to learn something about how people interact and how relationships are between two people. Learn about how you act in these sorts of situations and how she reacts. Don't take anything at face value. As nerve-racking as it is to reveal your feelings to someone (and possibly be rejected), it can be quite difficult and uncomfortable to have to reject and let someone down too. Sometimes in these situations, there is no clearcut goodguy-badguy even though it may be easier on you to label the other as the dishonourable one. Just learn from whatever happens.

 

I guarantee you if your line of communication with this girl opens as a result of you telling her how you feel (in letter or in person, regardless of if she returns your feelings or not), then the next time it comes for you to approach another girl, it will be a little easier. It keeps getting easier the more you realize that being rejected is not the end of the world. Sometimes the other person just doesn't see anything in you, and that's fine. It doesn't reduce who you are to be rejected. It just means there's someone else out there who's more compatible with you. (Really, if this girl is not the one, there is someone out there for you.) You just need to have confidence in yourself. You have a lot of good qualities, and one day there will be someone who will be able to appreciate you as much as you can appreciate her.

 

All the best to you.