In a pickle...

[DoubleShot]

Didn't know exactly which forum to post this under, but this one seems to work best.

 

Alright, here's the deal. I met this girl a few months ago and everything seemed to be running smoothly. We talked about possibly having a relationship but the only things that were holding us back were that she didn't want a relationship at the time and the distance, (she lives about 3 hours away from me.) We both started getting attached to each other over the next few months and were seriously considering having a relationship. She would tell me that at that moment in time that I was right for her, which understandably made me happy. A little over a week ago her friend told me that she was dating this other guy, and she was hiding it from me. I confronted her about this and her reason for not telling me about it was because she "felt regret towards me" and was thinking about breaking up with him. She was/is really confused about the whole situation because she doesn't know who to keep. She could keep me and risk losing him, or she could keep him and risk losing me. I told her to do whatever makes her happy, and then she said that either way she wouldn't be happy. I'm pretty sure it would be easier for her to let me go than it would be to let him go, but I still feel that I would be better for her. We were both pretty upset about this. I got hurt, and she felt bad about it. I decided to give her some space to figure out what she was going to do. She told me that she doesn't want space, but just about everytime we talk to each other we get into an altercation about the whole deal. I'm not sure what to do here. I really feel that I should give her some space to sort everything out and to keep us from fighting, but at the same time I don't want her to drift away from me because I won't talk to her. So I guess the question would be: should I keep contact with her? Or should I just leave her alone? This is very confusing on my part. If you need more info or something, just ask. I just pointed the highlights out. Hopefully it will be enough.

 

By the way I haven't talked to her for about 3 days, if that helps any.

[just_smile]

hey

i personally wouldnt have stood for her seeing someone else behind your back but i guess its your choice,

 

id remember if she has done it once she might do it again, especially with the long distance thing, can a leopard change its spots?

 

i would give her some time to think about it. but wait shouldnt it be you who is making the decision of whether you want to be with her? why does she have to be the one who has the time and space to think about it? but if you have made the decision to stay with her then fine.

 

i woudlnt contact her, other than to let her know that you are willing to give it ago (thats if you are), but other than that id let her come to you, if she doesnt contact you then youll know her decision, she wont have wanted you enough to get over her pride and tall to you, or that she has made her decision to go with him

 

have you two talked about what she did at all?

 

i know i have asked alot of questions and i dont know whether they will help, maybe theyll make you think, im not sure

 

~LJ =;

[DoubleShot]

Thank you just_smile for your reply. I'll try to answer your questions.

 

Yes, we have talked about this quite a bit. In fact, today she contacted me through IM and we talked about it. It got worse and more confusing. She said that she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore, but she still wants to sit down and sort things out. I don't get it.

 

I do like her a lot and care for her very deeply, and I want to be with her. I told her how much I cared about her and all that good stuff, but she just kept saying "good for you". So I guess I should just move on and start the grieving proccess, but at the same time, she still wants me to call her tonight. Very confusing. I still have a feeling that there is hope for us, but at the rate it's going now, I'm not sure. Should I call her? It's almost 3:30 now, and I'm supposed to call her at 7:00. I would appreciate an answer before then.

 

Sorry if the information is sketchy, I'm just spitting things out left and right. Once again, very confusing, and any advice would be very helpful.

[just_smile]

hey

im sorry i didnt respond in time i didnt come on again last night, how did it go though did you call her? when she says "good for you", it doesnt seem as if she is listening to what you have been saying, and when you said that it became worse and more confusing by talking, maybe thats no the answer maybe it does need time. i would keep up the hope maybe she will realise how much you mean to her, otherwise couldnt you just be friends?

 

~LJ =;