Friends involvement.

[.piper.]

Ok... you have probably seen all my posts about the hard time I was going through with the break up from my boyfriend. We broke up for about a month and then decided to get back together.

 

A have a friend who has been my friend for about 23 years now... so forever. Who does not like him at all and does not think he is good enough for me. She thinks he is a liar, cheat, and a loser basically. I know she thinks this way because she tells me to my face. She actually told me it was laughable to think he was with me because he is so much below me. I on the other hand love him with all my heart...

 

I just found out that she facebooked my mom and told her that I am back together with him and how he has scary secrets and blah blah basically what I said in the above paragraph. She asked my mom what she should do about it because she doesnt want me to get hurt and she thinks my outlook on life has been downgraded??? I have no idea what she is talking about. I am a Professional 26 year old, with a 50k a year job, own house, suv, etc, I'm successful for my age. She is a 26 year old secretary who lives at home and is always broke. So how is my outlook on life downgraded?? I am starting to think she is just jealous of me.

 

I am looking for advise on what to do? Should I confront her? The reason I know she was talking to my mom is because I have my friends facebook password - she got mine too. We use it to look at people we don't have as friends. I know I invaded her privacy but I saw the messaged and wondered wth?

 

As if trying to make things work with an ex were not hard enough I have even more forces against me. ](*,)

[metrogirl]

just because you have a better job than her doesn't mean you can't make mistakes about the men you choose.

 

She obviously has some serious concerns about this guy you are with. She doesn't sound jealous, she sounds frustrated at the fact that she feels you are making a mistake by being with him.

[.piper.]

She made my other friend break up with her boyfriend of 13 years because she convinced her that he was not good enough for her... they are now back together.

[Miss Chrissy]

well by the sounds of it she is jealous. maybe she wants your boyfriend. or maybe she is just really looking out for you and he isn't good enough. but then again, to your best friend or parents, no guy is good enough for you. people get back together and have problems all the time. even in healthy marriages couples hurt eachother. it's normal.

 

and downgrading your view on life? what? i doubt it. but you know how it is, many women date guys who really aren't good enough for them. but you know what some how it works out. oh well. your friend is silly. lol.

[.piper.]

I called her out on it and she told me I was childish and to talk to her when I start feeling better.

 

I told her I don't need friends like that.

[metrogirl]

In reading some of your previous threads, I can understand why your friend has concerns about you and this guy. He clearly yanks your chain and plays with your heart strings. Don't be so quick to judge your friend in a bad light. I don't think she's jealous of you and your on again off again relationship, I think she is truly concerned about you.

[.piper.]

Thats not the point.

 

She can tell me to my face that she doesnt like him - fine.

 

But go running to my mother?? I just think its very childish. As if I need more tension and drama in my life. I just told her I thought it was uncool.

[metrogirl]

Thats not the point.

 

She can tell me to my face that she doesnt like him - fine.

 

But go running to my mother?? I just think its very childish. As if I need more tension and drama in my life. I just told her I thought it was uncool.

 

Ok, let me play devils advocate here. I'm assuming she has told you probably multiple times that she doesn't like him and why, correct? Did you brush her and her concerns off? It's hard to listen to our close friends bash our mates even if we know they are bad for us because we still love them.

 

Going to your mom, probably not the best way to go unless she felt your mental stability was/is at risk here.

 

So given that, you have the right to tell her that it's not cool but I wouldn't be super mad about it.

 

Let me ask you, if the situation was reversed and your friend was with a guy that you didn't like, played her heart strings, what would you do?

[.piper.]

I would tell her but I would not go behind her back and tell her mom and that I don't think they belong together - I just think thats wrong.

 

I don't think she should be with her boyfriend - he is rude to her infront of us but I don't tell her and then go behind her back and tell her mom once she doesn't break up with him.

 

I just don't think thats a good friend at all... A good friend who voice her concerns to me and then tell me its my decision.

 

He doesnt beat me or cheat on me so I don't think she should be getting so involved in this situation. I am just so angry and she has to nerve to be mad at me because I told her I didn't think she should be going behind my back... She has no right to call me childish because I told her that she wouldn't like it if I constantly put down her boyfriend. She can bash me and tell me my view of life is downgraded because of him and he and his friends are worthless but yet if I tell her I don't like her relationship - I am the bad guy. I told her if she can dish it out, she better be able to take it too.

 

I'm just super pissed. arghhhhh.