all ladies and guys please give me a hint

[vnora87]

Im sorry but only one person replied so i posted it again. It is important to me thats why i keep checking if anyone gave me advice. This is the story:

Now me and him went out for two years until he broke up with me cuz he thought i didnt care. It was a letter i wrote cuz i was mad, i do care, he is my first love. Now i've heard the only reason he doesnt want to get back with me is because he doesnt want to get hurt again because he loves me too. Im also his first love bla bla bla. Now we have no contact whatsoever, we se each other down the halls, hi, bye, heard about this?, keep walking. You know what I mean. I want us to be friends because of our history it would mean a lot to me. I still love him but i wouldnt mind a friendship. But he keeps avoiding to hang out with me, he doesnt want me to call him, he doesnt even treat me like a friend, he acts like he doesnt care but then if you really dont care y dont you want us to be a little close then. Thats my question. Its been two months why doesnt he still want us to be friends. I want to tell him straight up but im afraid its going to be random. Should i send him an email, say it face to face, or nothing at all. Please what should I do? It driving me crazy.

[pologirl214]

If you care about having a friendship with him this much, you need to put aside your fears that talking to him about it will be "random." To be honest, it might be, but that doesn't mean it doesn't need to be said. I know that two months seems like a long time, but when you're trying to get over someone you cared about that much, it can seem like a very short time. Even if it is displaced, I am guessing he is still working his way through the stages of loss....including denial, anger, guilt, and just plain hurting. It may take a long time for him to come to terms with this breakup--after all, two years is a long time to be in a relationship. I say go ahead and talk to him, though. Find a time and a place where you two can have a private, and, if necessary, lengthy conversation. Tell him how you feel and what you want, and then give him time to tell you.....and make sure he knows that you want to know the TRUTH about what he is feeling, that you don't want him to just say what he thinks you want to hear. Good luck!

[vnora87]

Thank you so much!!!!

[vnora87]

Thank you so much!!!!

[vnora87]

Thank you so much!!!!

[martyj]

i agree vnora87 you should approach the subject and you may find that it works out, remember he may also be putting a front on for his friends pretending he is cool with everything guys do it all the time.

 

Just ask to meet up and have some fun too

 

Good Luck and keepus posted!

[SLBG]

Hi vnora87,

 

Never give up if you love this guy, you may not be together now but there may be a chance in the future.

 

You are still only young, but if you feel strongly about him these feeling will never fade. Just give him some space. Maybe in the future he will be ready to take a chance, and try again.

 

You need to show him that you care, my ex fiancée of 5 years broke things off with me because she didn't think I cared. Now she has gone I realize I've made mistakes and understand how much I love her.

 

My feeling for my ex run deep, I will never stop loving her and will never forget her. Just because we cannot be together now doesn't mean we will never be together again.

 

These things take time, and if you love somebody you have to give them the space they need to see how much they mean to you.

 

If he is scared of getting hurt again you need to show him that you are there for him as a friend. Its not gonna be easy as he wants you to think that he doesn't care but its probably just an act.

 

We all deal with things differently, some deal with the problem head on, some smoke screen the issues and others just ignore it and hope it goes away. There will come a day that he will see clearly and when he does he may contact you and want to start again.

 

If hes playing games then I would suggest NO CONTACT for now, give yourself time to heal and grow. If he contacts you then play it cool, don't mention the relationship to start with and over time you will break down the walls he has put up.

 

Regain his trust, show him you love and care for him and that you will never hurt him again. But remember, you are not 100% to blame for the relationship failing, he must also take responsibility for his part in it.

 

Until he is ready to talk, don't pressure him. You will only push him away.

 

Good luck, If you need to talk PM me or post in the forum.

 

slbg