First few contacts after No-Contact

[bexcelant]

After about 7 months of no contact, she has started to reinitiate with me. My sense is that she and her bf are on the rocks and she is taking to calling me again. We have even gone out for dinner once. But the initial recontacts have a feel of uncertainty and awkwardness about them. I"m not sure what to say or do. She wants to talk to me that much is certain. She calls me up now just to talk.

 

This doesn't feel like first date stuff anymore. This has a weird feeling to it with the nervousness from both my side and hers. She never talks about the bf with me. I'd like to know in these next few weeks whether or not to bring up her relationship with her bf, lay one on her, keep hanging out and act like nothing happened and we're friends? I don't wanna drive her away but I want to reignite her fire like when we first met. How do I do that?

 

Bex

[MelikeMI]

"Are you ok? How are you and (enter b/f name here) doing?" You need to find this out before you go further. Why hangout with her if they're still together? Maybe she wants a friendly face maybe she wants to make him jealous by thinking she's going back to you. You already know what page you're one, now you need to find out which one she is.

[bexcelant]

You're right. I do need to ask her and just like you said it. Then depending on what she says, I know what to do next. Either continue with the no contact or casual contact and there may be a day she lets me know she wants more from me. I'm still not quite sure that after 7 months no contact is appropriate as now I think I'm hitting that phase outta site outta mind.

 

What do you guys think?

[The Morrigan]

I'd try and make it a little more casual, still with the same idea, like "Hey, so catch me up, how's things with you? (insert name) been treating you right? Had a chance to (insert something you did a lot) lately?"

 

Still asks what you wanna know, but a bit less confrontational and direct as far as showing your intentions directly, and gives you more to talk about after she answers as well, instead of leaving you stranded for something to say that relies on what she answers.

 

Try and think of a few things you've done lately or seen or read that give some good conversational material before she calls or you meet up - anything from hearing "stupid criminal news" stories to relate to something cute or thought provoking, vary the tempo a little so you're not left foundering for something to say

[bexcelant]

Morrigan, you are so awesome. Thank you so much you're posts in this forum are always on the mark.

 

Bex