This girl is confusing me...PLEASE HELP

[xxALONExx]

So I might as well start at the beginning. Hehe what a place to start. Anyway I am 17 years old and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact I have only been in two relationships total. Well this semester I've had a chance to get to know this girl that I've been in classes with for two years. I've never really thought of her as anything but that one red haired girl. Though since the middle of January I've gotten to know her and I'm falling in love with her. I see her for 3 hours everyday and we usually talk for the biggest part of that time.

 

I know I'm interested in her and have dropped more than a few hints that I am. I think that she is interested in me too, because when we talk she is usually asking me those "personal" questions that reveal to her more about me and can't be simply answered yes or no. She always stands up for me, in the past two weeks she has gone against a friend of hers, a friend of mine, the teacher and a person that we mutually dislike for me. I go out of my way to be nice to her and to do nice things for her. We usually share out class work, books, pens, calculators ect. Many other people in the class feel that there is something already going on between us as I've been asked and they've said stuff with both of us around.

 

Though where I'm getting confused by her is that there are days where we talk for the biggest part of the three hours and then there are others where we barely talk at all. Like she won't avoid me, but rather seems pre-occupied. Today for example in class we only talked for about 5 minutes, though she left early because of a doctor's appointment. Is she interested and as confused as I am, is she not interested, or is she "playing hard to get" and wanting me to take the step to raise things to the next level? Because of my lack of expirience with relationships, I'm not sure where to go from here and am terrified of being caught in releam of "Just friends". I'd also love to ask her for her phone number, but once again thanks to my insecurities and lack of expirience I'm not sure how to do that either. Please guys and girls give me some advice.

[Tinkerbell]

First of all, calm down. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth...That's a good boy, now we can get started

 

I think you may be overanalysing the whole situation. You said it yourself she doesn't avoid you, but seems preoccupied sometimes. Well that's to be expected! I've been with my boyfriend for 16 months and sometimes I'm too busy to talk to him, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your life cannot revolve around one other person, if you've got something else to do, so be it!

 

Since you feel that she's interested and other people agree to, why not take the first step? I know it's rather old-fashioned, but a lot of women today still prefer for a man to make the first move (besides, we avoid rejection that way You sometimes talk to her for hours in person, why not just casually suggest you guys do something out of school in one of those conversations? If she's interested, she'll agree, and then you can ask for her number. Be casual about it, don't start confessing your love for her, because chances are that'll scare her away. Suggest the two of you see a movie, go to an amusement park, etc... The ideas for a first date are endless.

 

If she doesn't seem thrilled by the idea of the two of you going out alone together, it could be that she's shy and not sure whether or not she's ready for a relationship. If that's the case, ask her if she wants to hang out with a group of people.

[xxALONExx]

You make it sound so easy. I just know that if I drop in during the course of a conversation "Hey you wanna go see a movie sometime?" it would come out more like "Movie go you wanna see?" or something. I lack this thing called confidence.

 

Perhaps I should have mentioned that I screwed up big time. Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to ask her out and for what ever reason the words just wouldn't come out. The whole class was outside doing a little painting on our projects she and I had already painted ours and were letting them dry and while they were drying we walked around a little and were all alone on the school "nature trail". In my head the words were perfect, but every single time I'd go to ask her it would come out of my mouth as something stupid that was about the project were working on. It would have been the perfect time. We were alone, outside on a beautiful day and were already talking about movies. I guess it's true what they say, "Regret it worse than rejection."

[ddriver7]

I'm kind of going through the same thing now and I know how frustrating it can be. To deal with slow days, I'd try just talking to her and see if she responds well. If you want to avoid being "just friends," try to stay outside of the line - talk to her as friends, but hint at being more than friends in a subtle way, and see how she responds. If she seems interested, I'd go for it. Kind of hard to explain but seems to work alright for me. Regardless, I would ask her out if you really like her.

[xxALONExx]

I'm sorry keep bringing this topic back up, but I keep having different questions. Is it a good sign when someone (not me but a mutual friend) ,without me asking him to, asking her (on the opposite side of a busy computer lab) "So when are you two gonna start dating?" (The lab was fairly quiet and I have above average hearing, so I heard his question and her responce) And giggled and said "Shutup!" Also to prove the point I made a couple days ago, just today after class I had one person ask me if we were dating and two others (seperatly) say somethin about how much we flirt.