No Contact Rule Confusion

[benevolent]

Okay it's been 3 months since my ex and I have split up. I tried the no contact rule and was pretty successful at it. The difficulty is that I helped raise her kids, so we sometimes see each other when the kids are involved. I took the advice offered here and from friends and stuck with the NC Rule. Within a week or so, I received a note or e-mail from my ex-gf. She basically said to e-mail or call her and so I did and then she stopped replying. I have a feeling that she is also using the no contact rule with me. Should I/we just bypass this whole NC Rule and just keep the flow of communication going.

 

Part of the problem is that she is one who never initiates anything. So I'm kind of wary that she will actually be the one who will make the first move and be the one that says she misses me, etc. In all honesty, I think her act of leaving a note and saying "call me" is the extent of her "first move". She is not the type who will go above and beyond until I make that move. She is very tit for tat and for me to use the NC Rule basically means she is going to counter with the same exact move.

 

My other fear is that employing the NC Rule will make her think that I really don't want to be with her and (being tit for tat) she will just want to move on. Unfortunately, she's kind of flighty in her thinking and she would rather think "oh well...that's how life is....and whatever happens...happens..." versus fighting for something worthy.

 

Lend me some advice on how to approach this.

[Finzsoftie]

 

Heya,

I was just wondering why you are so concerned if she is going to run away if you have broken up already.

I mean there is a reason why you guys have broken up, why you picked up on the NC rule. What's going on? Like this just seems to me like you are playing a game with each other. DO you know what I mean.... the game of what is she going to do next?

PM me if you want to chat

Cheers