not understanding a relationship

[radiotone]

i've been with my girlfriend (who lives 4 hours away) for 8 months.

we've been through a lot but for some reason i really can't understand what makes a relationship, a relationship.

 

it's happened everytime i enter one. i always assume one day, my girlfriend is just going to turn things around and end it right there. and whenever she finds something about me she doesn't like, like a pet peeve, i assume she's going to hate me or find someone else who doesn't have that pet peeve and she'll go for him.

 

i react that way everytime she playfully picks on me cause of her pet peeve. i just don't know why i take things so seriously. it's like everyday i expect the worse to come and some days very GOOD things happen or very BAD things happen.

 

i just don't know. it's like i always thing there's some kind of grudge she holds for me. it may have been to what has happened in the past, but we're both over that. it's like she can easily hate me.. if that makes sense.

 

which makes me paranoid, not act like myself. paranoid i might say or do something wrong and i'm paranoid OF THAT cause then she'll notice something and become bothered by it

 

i spent a weekend with her and ever since i got back i've been feeling like that. i just don't know. she's going through a stressing time i guess and it just sounds like she's passive and doesn't care. but i KNOW she does. and i end up arguing with myself.

 

i just don't get it.

it's like sometimes i'm so afraid of her.

like she can bring me down so easily with sarcastic comments

but it doesn't happen all the time...

 

i really don't understand any of this.

 

at all

[Heretic]

Well I talk from experience when I say saracasm is usually playful. Try talking to her about it. Tell her it's bugging you. I bet you she will stop. I honestly doubt she's trying to hurt you and if she is trying to hurt you, you need to get out.

 

My biggest pet peeve is hypocrites. I can't stand them. Yet the love of my life (my first) was a huge hypocrite. It really didn't matter. Sure I poke fun at her about it, but I never took it too far.

 

Try to have faith in your relationship. Trust and faith are key to the foundation of any relationship.

 

I hope this helps!

[ForAnother]

Hey man I feel the SAME exact way. I always feel like she could attack me so easily. I feel like I am missing something. All I do is act strong. I act like I am the stronger one in the relationship at times, and convince myself that she loves me and that she would never leave me, so I do as I please and if she wants to leave cuz of some ridiculous thing I am doing then that makes her a couple of things.

 

First it makes her shallow

second it makes her tell the truth if she actually DOES love you

third it makes her look like a complete fool.

 

Whatever you do, I am sure she doesn't mind. Her play is like a test to see how strong you are. Just fight it back a bit. Give her a sarcastic thing, or if she says something like act like you didn't hear it and say like "look at that TREE!!!" lol something goofy to take your mind and hers off of it. You need to play back at her, thats what I think makes relationships fun and interesting when you can do that with your gf.

 

Good luck man, don't stress too much.

 

For Another

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey radiotone. I think that there's something you're just not seeing. It sounds like ur totally in love with her. You want things to be perfect and on top of that u sound self-consious with urself when you need to realise that if she loves you, she seriously won't mind. Nothings perfect, everyone has problems and how u get through it depends on the plan of attack u use.

 

You really gotta take it easy and it one of the main reasons why I think ur going paranoid and thinking overtime is u need to get it out to her, let her know what ur feeling and u'll feel so much better. Chances are, she'll confort you and make u feel loved, what I think u need right now with ur insecurities.

 

Happy Heb