In the end did you find.....

[Angelsblood]

Has anyone here ever been so in love and after a break up all you did was dwell and cry and no matter what any one said you wanted that person back so much. Though later on you found someone even better?

I need to know this b/c i'm still heartbroken over my love even though it's been so long.

[QTpie87]

MY ex is doing the same thing. i think its rebound. he says he likes her but he loved me for like ever and he still does and i know that. i don't think you should be with this other girl, why not waiting for a while and then maybe trying to start over with your ex. thats what i wish my ex would do because i still love him more then anyone. well thats only my opinion though.

[Michael2]

Angel,

 

You ask, "Has anyone here ever been so in love and after a break up all you did was dwell and cry and no matter what any one said you wanted that person back so much. Though later on you found someone even better?

I need to know this b/c i'm still heartbroken over my love even though it's been so long."

 

YES, YES, YES.

 

Believe me, you will, one day, get over all the pain you are experiencing.

[Pandora]

Hey...

 

i figured that most people would feel this way and i'm no exception. It takes more than just time or another person to forget a love so strong but i'll want to believe its possible. so the answer to your question is YES.

[Frodo Baggins]

I know I'm going to sound like the downer here, but I'm not going to say "Yes," but rather "Kinda." The hurting will indeed diminish, but it might not go away. If it does, you will have accomplished a great part of life, but if you always carry the memory of that person with you, it's nothing to despair. It only means that person was special to you in more ways than one, and you feel the emptiness in your life from when they left. The pain will change, you'll have memories, and it won't hurt. Maybe it'll be with the natural growth you go through in life, or maybe the strengthening of "emotional skin," either way, you will perservere. Just remember, growing does not have to mean forgetting.

 

I realize I sounded like a rambling moron, but I hope I was able to provide maybe some insight to a gray area in the black and white world of grief and happiness.

[neva_black_n_white]

i wouldnt say yes either, only i dont compare relationships because when you do that it only holds you back and imits you to what you may feel for someone else, i may dwell on someone, cry as you said but not as much so later compare that this new person is 'better'.

 

each relationship is entirely different to the one before it, and if you make it the same or similar then this obviously right or meant to be and are longing for the one before or before that. a new person a new life a new relationship a new deffinition. nothing comes the same, so how can one be better than the other?

 

one may provide higher emotions, better feelings, longer relationships, more communication, when broken down an apsect could be seen as better but a relationship cant as you havent experianced the same things.

do you get me?

 

anyway thats my opinion.

kel

[Frodo Baggins]

Very good point, thanks very much for bringing it up. It's one thing to keep the past in your memory, it's another for it to interfere with your life. Its really good that you mentioned that, especially it being very important NOT to compare any current relationship with the one that hurt you. For one, it wouldn't be fair to the person you're with at the moment, and two, nothing will ever compare to the past because you wouldn't be comparing them to the actual person (not that you should, no one should have the power to compare other people and decide value) you'd be comparing THE MEMORY OF THEM YOU HAVE. And your own thoughts are impossible to match up to, nonetheless surpass. The past cannot be changed, only improved upon with retrospect, thus there is no way to truly spoil wonderful moments; so it wouldn't be fair to compare your current relationship with something that has been idealized and archived. I know it may not be an appropriate analogy, but think of it as a legendary rock star. They may have had their ups and downs in life, but once they're gone, they become legends. And since they're gone, they can't screw up anymore, so their legend won't really go down. Why? Because they live on in memory, and memory is more permanent and powerful than anything on earth.

 

Neva, you have it right, it's okay to keep something in your heart, but it's VERY important to keep things in perspective. The past should stay where it belongs, in the past; because only in the past can it actually help you. If it's in the past, it helps you be a better more developed person. If you keep reliving it, you'll never really be whole, since you're not really living in the present. Thanks for bringing up that very important point, neva, really good show.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey thanks for that.

at least you got what was saying and thats for extending it, its far better now. *smiles*

 

so in conclusion to both of those, the past is the past and thats where it lies, you can rekindle it with memories but dont reapply it. to start a new relationship should be exactly that, new, and nothing shoudl be in the way to make you compare the last. if so your not ready.

 

good luck with your own answers though.

kel